Expecto Ninjutsu!
by XxShawns Guardian AngelxX
Summary: Naruto and his friends have a new mission. Orochimaru has escaped into the world of Harry Potter and someone has to keep an eye out for him. Naruto and his friends are forced to attend Hogwarts, make new friends, new romances, new challenges AU OOC LEMONS
1. A New Mission

"Aye Tsunade-sama. You called for us?" Sakura asked bowing at her master.

"Yes, but we have to wait until everyone's here. You all are about to get the same mission but I need everyone here because this is very important."

"Oh ok. Well…"

"Ahhhh! Grandma Tsunade! You called for the great Naruto Uzamaki?"

"Oh pipe down you loser," Sasuke mumbled. Naruto entered Tsunade's office followed closely by Sasuke, Neji, Hinata, and Ino.

"Sasuke, why are you always calling Naruto a loser?" Sakura asked. He frowned at her before shrugging his shoulders.

"I dunno. I guess he's a loser compared to me," he said grinning,

"You're all losers," Neji mumbled.

"Hey what you say?" Sasuke asked, bowing up at Neji. Neji's Byakugan eyes flashed dangerously.

"It doesn't matter what I said. You can't do anything about it so what of it?"

"ALRIGHT! STOP THIS ARGUING AND SHUT UP! YOU ALL HAVE A MISSION TOGETHER AND IF YOU DON'T START GETTING ALONG I WILL DEMOTE ALL OF YOU BACK TO GENIN!" They all got surprisingly quite. No one dared say a word. It would just be too embarrassing for one jonin and the rest chunin to get demoted back to genin.

"Wow. You should say things like that more often Tsunade-sama," Shizune commented.

"What do you mean? I was dead ass serious. Now then, now that I have everyone's undivided attention, I can tell you the details of your next mission."

"ALRIGHT! Is it dangerous? I hope it's dangerous!" Naruto squealed.

"Give it a rest before I pound you," Sakura commented.

"Now then, your mission involves Orochimaru." Everyone just stared at her, their mouths wide with shock.

"Orochimaru huh?" Naruto smirked. "Do I get another shot at him? I would love to pound him to a bloody pulp after what he did to me and Sakura."

"Where is he?" Sasuke growled.

"Now just calm down everybody and listen up. He's not here. In fact, he's no where near here. He's in a whole other dimension where he is now a threat to some really good friends of mine."

"Another dimension? How is that possible?" Neji asked.

"Have you guys ever read the story of Harry Potter?" Tsunade asked.

"Uh…yeah but isn't that just some made up story for entertainment? I mean, there can't be such things as wizards…can it?" Ino asked.

"Actually, every word that you read in the books is true. There IS a Harry Potter and there IS a Voldemort but he's in hiding."

"The books claim that he died long ago."

"Ino you actually take the time to read?" Naruto asked.

"Yes I do and if you read more often you wouldn't be such an idiot!" she screamed.

"Ahem!" Tsunade cleared her throat to get everyone back on task. "As I was saying, there really is a boy named Harry Potter and there really are wizards. They live in another dimension and I have reason to believe that's where Orochimaru is hiding. Since I have to stay here and watch over the village I have no choice but to send all of you there."

"To this wizarding world?" Ino asked apparently still confused.

"Yes, but here's the deal-you may be there for quite some time. In fact, it may be a whole year."

"WHAT?!?! WHAT ABOUT MY TRAINING?!?!?! THAT PERVY SAGE PROMISED ME THAT…."

"Naruto, I swear if you scream out like that one more time I'll make sure you're a genin for life!" Tsunade said grimly, leaning across her desk.

"Fine. So what are we supposed to do?" he sulked.

"You're going to be staying at Hogwarts. You're going to be students undercover there. You will be sorted into houses and everything. Dumbledore and I have already talked about it but I really need you guys to cooperate with him. I know you guys are the experts on Orochimaru but you guys have no idea how bad he'll be if he manages to find Voldemort."

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Naruto, what's so funny?" Sakura asked.

"What the hell kind of name is Voldybutt?" he asked, falling back onto the floor rolling with laughter. Tsunade's face went red and Sakura feared for everyone's life. She drew back her fist and pounded Naruto in the stomach.

"Ow…Sakura that…I'll shut up now," he winced.

"So…so you mean…I'll get to meet THE Harry Potter?" Ino asked excitedly.

"Yes, but be careful. While you're there, your bodies will change dramatically. You'll also be required to get wands and learn magic although most of your ninjutsu and genjutsu will be the envy of most at Hogwarts."

"Alright, so when do we leave? How do we get there?" Neji asked.

"Good question. You'll be leaving using a portkey but we'll get to that in a second. Naruto I told the headmaster that you're going to be quite the troublemaker. Do try to prove me wrong," she said with a sigh. "Sakura, I'll expect a written report every week from you understand?"

"Hai!"

"Oh and one last thing, this is not just some vacation. Orochimaru is out there somewhere and no one knows how dangerous he is except us. Don't expect the students at Hogwarts to sympathize very much. Sasuke, Naruto, you two be especially careful." Both boys nodded and listened for further instructions. "Now about the portkey…"

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"Alright students. Settle down. I have a few start of term announcements to make," Dumbledore said. "For starters Filch has asked me to mention that there is to be no Retching Frisbees inside the building. If he sees you with them then I have given him permission to confiscate them."

"Oh man. Hey Fred, looks like you and George are out of business," Ron hissed.

"Ah come now Ronny Boy. You should know George and me by now. We have a plan," he replied with a grin. A few seconds later, the doors of the Great Hall opened and in walked six of the strangest dressed individuals they had ever seen. Harry nudged Hermione in the ribs but she and Ginny were already in deep conversation.

"Oh yes, I guess it's time," Dumbledore replied happily. Harry watched as Professor McGonagall walked forward carrying the sorting hat.

"Harry, are we really having a sorting?" Neville asked.

"Looks that way but…" He studied the new students closely for a moment. "But they look like they're closer to our age. There's just no way they could be first years." Harry's thoughts were interrupted by Dumbledore's voice.

"This year, Hogwarts would like to welcome six new students. They will probably only be here for just this year but all the same they will become part of our family. That being said, I find it only more than appropriate to place them among your individual families by way of the sorting hat. Who knows? They might stay longer if they feel welcome and I trust each house will won't disappoint. Now before I start the sorting I need to tell you a little bit about these students. They are from the village of Konoha and if you want to know more then you are more than welcome to ask them about it. Where they come from, they don't use magic. They really don't need it since they are all highly trained ninjas. They are here on a mission but they are not inclined to give you all details of the mission so don't ask. Another thing, just because they don't use magic doesn't mean you should take them lightly. If you do, you may find yourself in a world of trouble and I don't know many magic spells that can counteract genjutsu or ninjintsu." Dumbledore nodded towards McGonagall before taking his leave.

"The sorting will begin momentarily so get ready."

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**AN:** _Don't take this story very seriously so flaming would be pointless. This is just something funny that came to me one night in Chemistry. I wanted to explore a Harry Potter/Naruto crossover type story so I came up with this. I don't know how long it will be but I'm doing it for fun so go away if you're going to flame. I probably won't update this one as quick as some of my others so here's fair warning. Pairings...There will be interesting pairings in this but none of that right now. Review and I might continue posting. _


	2. Let the Sorting Begin!

"Lady Hokage? The first report is here from Sakura. She said that you wanted a report of the days events even though it hasn't been a week."

"Right. Thank you Shizune. I wanted a report just to make sure that they made it there alright." Shizune handed her the scroll and Tsunade began reading.

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"I never want to travel by portkey again," Sakura groaned. She sat up off the ground and shook the grass out of her hair. She reached over to heal the cut on her left arm when she gasped. Her arm felt…soft and squishy. She looked around at her fellow teammates and noticed that they too looked somewhat different.

Neji looked…hot and Sasuke looked way hotter than usual. Even Naruto, who was now examining his torso, looked good enough to eat. His normally spiky blonde hair was now a softer tone of blonde making him look like a model of some sort. Neji's long, beautiful brown strands were making her jealous and his eyes…She quickly turned away from him and eyed Sasuke who was now just staring at his hands as if lost.

"This is so cool!" Ino yelled. She was now standing eyeing her rear end with a look of utter amazement.

"Yeah, your ass looks bigger than usual. Maybe you aren't as skinny as you thought you were," Naruto muttered.

"WHAT YOU SAY?!?" she yelled, balling up her fists. Sakura let out a sigh and turned to Hinata who was just sitting there with her arms folded across her chest. She was looking towards the ground and she looked as though she were embarrassed about something. Sakura was about to say something to her but Neji started towards her instead.

"Hinata? Give me your hand," he commanded. Hinata stared up at her cousin nervously before letting him help her to her feet. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Uh…yeah. I'll…I'll be fine," she replied in almost a whisper. Neji lifted her chin with his hand.

"Don't worry. You look just fine," he whispered. Her eyes went wide as he continued to caress her cheek. "I think I like this dimention already. The warmth emitting from your skin is unbelievable," he chuckled.

"Neji-chan…Hinata…" Neji tore his hand away from Hinata's cheek and stared at their team leader Sakura. "It's almost time for our meeting."

"Meeting?" Neji asked.

"Yeah. Tsunade-sama said that someone is going to meet us here to help us get the things we need for school. He or she should be here in a minute." Not even a second later there was a loud pop behind Naruto causing him to scream out loud.

"AHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL…?"

Two strange looking adults appeared before them wearing long robes. One was wearing a long blue robe that had stars all over it that twinkled like real ones. Sakura deducted that he was very old. He had a long white beard; longer than any she had ever seen but the moon-like spectacles that he wore seemed to make him look a bit younger. Also his eyes were a bright blue that seemed to twinkle like the stars on his robe.

The other guy was dressed in all black. His long black robe was folded across his chest with his arms. He had medium length, greasy looking hair and the expression he worse was enough to make any child run and hide.

"Ahhh, it seems we've found the group from Konoha. I take it everyone got here alright?" the old guy asked.

"Uh…yes sir," Sakura said, standing to her feet.

"LIKE HELL WE DID! THAT PORTKEY ALMOST MADE ME PUKE UP ALL MY ICHIRAKU RAMEN!" Naruto yelled.

"Shut up Naruto!" Sakura hissed.

"Ahh, the famous Naruto Uzamaki that I've heard so much about," the old guy chuckled.

"You…you've heard of me?" he asked staring at the old man curiously.

"Oh yes, I've heard a lot of things about you. You are by far the most interesting person I've ever read up on. Almost as interesting as one of my very on but that's neither here nor there. It seems we need to get you ready for your classes but first the details of the mission." Everyone sat down on the ground in front of the two older gentlemen giving them their undivided attention. "Uh…Sakura?"

"Aye, that's me sir," she said raising her hand.

"Yes, well I am the headmaster of the school, Albus Dumbledore and this is our faithful potions master Severus Snape." Snape bowed his head politely but did not crack a smile at all. "Now then, Tsunade said that you would tell me a little bit about your Lord Orochimaru."

"Well sir I think Ino would be better at explaining everything," she said nodding towards Ino.

"Very well then. If you will Miss Ino."

"Yes…yes sir." She took a deep breath and began explaining everything she knew about Orochimaru. She told them about how he was banished from the village for experimenting on the villagers and how he was one of the legendary sanin. She left out the part about Naruto being a jinchuuriki and how Orochimaru wanted Sasuke's body. That part she felt Sakura needed to explain. When she was finally done explaining about Orochimaru, Dumbledore let out a sigh.

"It would seem as if we have our hands full this year. This Orochimaru person is like our very own…" but he stopped and cut Snape a wary look. "At any rate we will do all we can to help find this person. In the meantime, I too have to warn you about Lord Voldemort. There are rumors buzzing that he's still alive but no one's actually seen him. If this Orochimaru is really as gifted as you say, then there is no doubt in my mind that he will try to revive Lord Voldmort although I really don't know how he would accomplish it."

"There is a way," Naruto said softly. "I heard that's how he killed the 3rd. It's called 'Reanimation'. It's a jutsu that's forbidden to all shinobi and it requires a human sacrifice. The downside to it is that it's only temporary. Once the jutsu wears off or the person is killed, then it's over."

"Yeah but Naruto, you remember the time we fought Sasori and Itachi?" Sakura asked. Naruto's eyes went wide and he nodded.

"Yeah, those were…different somehow. Even though Orochimaru hasn't been in contact with the Akatsuki in years, who's to say he can't make a solid replication of your Lord…"

"HEY! WATCH IT NARUTO! THEY DON'T SPEAK HIS NAME!" Ino hissed. Naruto stared at her in confusion but said nothing.

"Naruto, I take it you don't know much about Lord Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked.

"Uh…no sir. I…I don't."

"Your Hokage has told me a lot about you and your difficulties Naruto. I know about the Bijuu inside of you and I know that everyday you live with the fear of having to fight one of the Akatsuki members." Naruto lowered his head and Dumbledore continued. "Harry Potter is the most famous wizard in our wizarding world. Does anybody know why?" he asked softly.

"He's the 'Boy Who Lived'," Ino whispered.

"The…boy who lived?" Naruto asked.

"Yes. You see, just like you Naruto, Harry's parents were killed long ago by our Lord Voldemort. He even tried to kill Harry but the spell backfired and he ended up killing himself. Harry is known all over the world as the boy who killed Voldemort but in reality he's just the boy who lived."

"But how is he like me? Besides…well, the fact that we both had our parents killed."

"Just like you, he lives in fear of Lord Voldemort. Voldemort isn't completely dead and at any given moment he could gain his powers again. If this happens, he will come to finish what he started."

"Oh…I see."

"But I'm sure you'll learn more about him as the year progresses. After all, you may end up in the same House as him."

"House?"

"Professor McGonagall will explain all of that to you later. In the meantime, we need to get going. We have to be back in time for the sorting. We will go over to Olivander's to get your wands. You'll find that all of you have robes and books back at Hogwarts. Now then, let's get moving. We're closer to Diagon Alley than you think." They all stood to their feet and followed the two wizards into London.

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"Hmmm…sorting? She didn't tell me what Houses any of them got sorted into. Shizune?"

"Yes?"

"Send Sakura a message. Tell her I want to know how the sorting went."

"Um…they are currently undergoing sorting now."

"Huh? How do you know?" Tsunade asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um…Jiraiya told me," she stammered.

"Oh? Jiraiya? Why is he…? Oh never mind. I suppose he needs to be there just in case…" She stared out the window and let out a sigh. _I hope they'll be alright._

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"Now let the sorting begin. When I call your name, please step forward and sit on this stool. I'll place the sorting hat on your head and it will tell you which house you're staying in. While you're here, each house will become your own personal family. If you break the rules, your house will lose points, but you can also gain points for your houses in various ways. The houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin." Sakura noticed that her tone of voice changed dramatically when she uttered the name 'Slytherin'.

"I guess Slytherin really is bad," Ino whispered.

"Huh?" Naruto turned and was about to ask Ino what she meant when the first name was called.

"Ino Yamanaka." The entire Great Hall got quiet as Ino made her way towards the stool. The hat immediately jumped to life chuckling on her head.

"Well, well Ino. Let's see what's inside your head."

"Um…," she said nervously.

"Yes, this will do. Alright then…your house will be…RAVENCLAW!" The second table on the right erupted with cheers as Ino nervously made her way away from the stool. McGonagall pointed her towards her table where she was immediately greeted by a couple of giggly girls shoving her towards their group.

"Looks like Ino will fit right in," Sakura muttered. Sakura glanced around at the rest of her friends and noticed that Hinata was clenching Neji's hand tightly. _Poor thing…must be scared to death. I hope they don't get split up otherwise she might cry._

"Sakura Haruno." _Oh man…_Sakura approached the stool and once again the entire hall was quiet.

"Oh no doubt where I should put you. GRYFFINDOR!" screamed the hat. Sakura smiled nervously as she headed towards the table decorated with gold. She was greeted by some eager young girls before her eyes darted forward again.

"Neji Hyuuga." Sakura watched as Neji approached the stool. He was wearing no expression whatsoever. In fact, he didn't seem very concerned at all. A few of the girls sitting beside her starting whispering about how hot he was. You guys have no chance at him…

"Hmmm…very courageous, but a genius by birth…all the same I suppose I'll put you in…GRYFFINDOR!"

"Ah yes!" Sakura yelped. Neji bowed his head politely before taking a seat next to Sakura. Some of the other girls went red in the face before turning towards the hat again.

"You're going to be quite the popular one around here," Sakura whispered.

"You know I could care less. Besides, I haven't the time for silly giggling girls when I have more important things to worry about." His eyes remained focused on Hinata as her name was called up next.

"Well then…brave at heart, but not much for being the center of attention…I think you'll do well in HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Dammit!" Neji hissed.

"Hey calm down! She'll be alright," Sakura said soothingly.

"Yeah well…I still need to be able to watch over her. Uncle will kill me…I could never forgive myself…" Hinata looked over at them sadly before making her way towards her table. A couple of people greeted her nicely before letting her be. _Oh Hinata…I'll still protect you no matter what…_

"Sasuke Uchiha," McGonagall called out.

Sakura sat up and watched intently as Sasuke made his way up to the stool. For the longest time the hat said nothing. Sakura feared she would just die if the sustained silence kept on any longer but finally the hat spoke up.

"I think you'll do well in this house. Maybe they'll learn something from you as you will do to learn a few things from them. SLYTHERIN!" The entire Great Hall remained silent. Only a few scattered applauses came from the staff table while the Slytherin table looked absolutely rigid. Sasuke just walked off the stage as if he didn't care and sat at the end of the Slytherin table. He was greeted by the Slytherin prefect but it was just a very short and cordial handshake.

"Wow. Talk about your welcome. What's with those people over there?" Neji asked.

"I dunno but you can tell by Professor McGonagall's speech that the Slytherin's aren't liked very much."

"Naruto Uzumaki!"

Naruto looked around the Great Hall nervously before making his way to the stool. The hat was placed upon his head and all he heard were whispers coming from around the room.

"Uh…Professor? Why isn't the hat saying anything?" he asked.

"It's…well I don't know," she said worriedly.

"HA! No need to worry," the hat yelled. "I'm just having a difficult time deciding where to place you. I've only had one other person to stump me before and to this day I feel that he would have done well in the other house."

"Yeah well I'm not like him so go ahead and place me somewhere. I'm tired of people staring at me like I'm an idiot," he mumbled.

"Oh well…I just don't know Naruto. You are a very brave boy…lots of courage…not the wisest of the bunch though…"

"WHAT?!?! ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT I'M AN IDIOT!" he yelled. Sakura's face turned red as she watched her team mate. _I will kill him…the idiot…_

"No…I just…Hmmm…Slytherin would be good for you…"

"Hey wait. Didn't you put Sasuke in Slytherin?" he asked.

"Yes, but…"

"THEN I REFUSE TO BE PUT IN THE SAME HOUSE AS THAT LOSER!" he screamed. He glared at Sasuke who was eyeing him with just as much fervor.

"YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE WITH ME BECAUSE YOU KNOW I'LL MAKE YOU LOOK BAD!" Sasuke yelled, smirking at Naruto.

"THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL! I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS YOU BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU AND I WANT TO PROVE IT BY KICKING YOUR HOUSES' BUTT!"

"Naruto! Calm yourself!" McGonagall hissed.

"Oh…sorry," he muttered, tossing a kunai at Sasuke who easily dodged it.

"Alright you hat! Get a move on!" McGonagall hissed.

"Oh…right. I guess since he feels so strongly about it then I suppose I'll put him in…GRYFFINDOR!" The entire hall remained silent. There were no claps only the sounds of nervous shifting and Sakura's knuckles cracking. Naruto made his way to the Gryffindor table and sat across from Sakura.

"I should kill you! You made us look like fools!" she hissed.

"Yeah well I wasn't about to let that damn hat tell me where to go. If Sasuke's in Slytherin then I'm here. We're rivals. You know that."

"Yeah but you're also members of Team Kakashi which means you should have been trying to stick together."

"Whatever," he grumbled. There was a loud ding and immediately everyone's attention turned towards the staff table. Dumbledore got to his feet and headed back in front of the staff table.

"One last announcement before we eat. As you know, Professor Lupin is no longer with us so we have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. We also have a new class that's going to be taught to upper level students but you'll learn more about that when classes begin. Now then let me introduce your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher…" There was a loud, thunderous crash causing the floor to rumble. Thick smoke filled the room causing everyone to cough.

"What in the world…?" Sakura started but she soon got her answer when the smoke cleared. A big red toad was sitting in the middle of the Great Hall and there was a man sitting atop it holding a scroll. Naruto jumped out of his seat, livid with anger.

"YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU PERVE?!!!"

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**AN**_Don't expect anymore long chapters like this one. I just couldn't stop without giving the sorting results. This chapter was a little more serious than the last but don't expect it to be serious all the time. Also, you need to disreguard anything you've read in Harry Potter. In fact, in this story it's as if books 3-7 don't exist. You have been warned. You should also expect a little OOCness out of the Hogwarts 3 (HP/HG/RW) from time to time. I'm going to make them a little more interesting. Anyway...I think that's all now go review or i'll quit writing. Bwahahahaha _

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**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto in any way, shape, or form. I do not own the characters, the books, merchandise, ect. No money is being made off of this fic and I give credit to J.K. Rowling for creating the wonderful world of Harry Potter and my props to Masashi Kishimoto for creating the wonderful Naruto Uzamaki._  
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	3. Getting Acquainted

Sakura punched Naruto in the jaw to calm him down.

"Shut-your-trap!" she said through gritted teeth. No one else seemed to have noticed Naruto's shouting or Sakura's punch. They were all staring up a Master Jiraiya in amazement. Others were whispering excitedly about how cool it must be to be a ninja. _If only they knew…_

"Hogwarts welcomes your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Lord Jiraiya…or in your case Professor Jiraiya." There was a thunderous applause from all the students in the Great Hall. Sakura figured it was mainly because of Jiraiya's show-offy entrance. When the applause died down and Naruto finally quit sulking, Dumbledore turned to Jiraiya. "Would you like to say anything to the students?"

"Well I don't want to say too much. I want you all to know that we're going to have a great time this school term. I hope I can teach you all a few cool ninja tricks. I'm sure my pupil will be more than glad to help out when needed," he said grinning, nodding towards Naruto. Naruto shot him a look that clearly said 'you wish' before sulking again. The giant toad in which Jiraiya appeared on suddenly disappeared which brought even more loud whispers. Jiraiya nodded towards Dumbledore before taking his seat at the staff table next to some lade Sakura didn't know, who was clearly blushing and doing everything she could to avoid Jariaya's eyes.

"Well if there's nothing else, let the feast begin." Dumbledore clapped his hands twice and the plates filled with food. Sakura just stared at her plate dumbfounded.

"OH WOW! THIS IS GREAT!" Naruto shouted reaching for some chicken legs. His hand ended up bumping another boys hand and he frowned. "Hey…I was reaching for that first!"

"I do believe my hand beat yours to the punch," the red head replied, reaching for the drumstick again.

"Give it back!" Naruto snatched the leg back but Sakura reached over and snatched it from him. "HEY! SAKURA…" Naruto watched as Sakura handed the chicken back to the red-head.

"I'm so sorry about this. Naruto just doesn't know how to act," Sakura stated frankly.

"No, actually it's Ronald who doesn't know how to act." The brown, bushy haired girl that was seated next to the red head had spoken out against him.

"Hey, Hermione you're supposed to be on my side. You don't even know these people," he replied indignantly.

"I don't care who they are. You were being rude and besides, it's not like there isn't plenty of chicken. You know just as well as I do that the plates refill themselves once finished."

"WHAT?!?!? REALLY?!?!" Naruto asked.

"God, why can't you just calm down Naruto? Do I have to punch you like I mean it?" she asked.

"Um…no…I'll be quiet now," he mumbled, stuffing potatoes into his mouth.

"Oh…um…Sakura is it?" Hermione asked.

"Uh…yes."

"I'm Hermione Granger. I would shake your hand but I fear for my life if I reach over someone's food," she replied, eyeing the red head dangerously.

"Oh it's ok. We usually greet each other with a bow. It's nice to meet you Hermione."

"Thanks," she said grinning. "The idiot sitting next to me is Ronald."

"Won," he said.

"Won?" Sakura asked.

"No, it's Ronald. Ron for short. Ron, stop trying to talk with your mouth full of potatoes!" Hermione snapped. Sakura closed her eyes and tried to suppress the giggle but she couldn't help it. Ron looked funny trying to talk with his mouth all gooey with potatoes.

"Wow. It seems you have your own version of this idiot here," Sakura commented nodding towards Naruto. He was stuffing his face with peas and carrots paying no attention whatsoever to his surroundings.

"Naruto…nice name and he is very handsome though he seems a bit…" Hermione paused desperately trying to find the right word to describe him but Sakura shook her head.

"There's no point in trying to find a nice word. Naruto is an idiot. Plain and simple but don't be fooled by his appearance. He's actually pretty special."

"Special?" Hermione asked frowning curiously.

"Yeah…he's…well," she said slowly. She wasn't sure just yet how much information she wanted to divulge even though Hermione did seem nice enough. "I'm sure you'll learn more about him in time, but your headmaster compared him to one of your own."

"Really? Who?"

"Harry Potter."

"_Harry_?" Ron asked suddenly. He had been so quiet throughout the conversation that Sakura almost forgot he was there.

"Uh…yeah. You know him?"

"Know him?" he scoffed. "Of course I know him! He's my best friend."

"Wow. That's so cool!" Sakura exclaimed.

"He's also my best friend too, but I suppose Won Won here forgot to mention that. Anyway, what made Dumbledore say that?"

"Well, it's kind of a long story but it has something to do with how they both grew up."

"Oh…I see," Hermione said thoughtfully. "Well at any rate, you seem to be a very nice person. I hope we can talk more throughout the year."

"Aye, same here," Sakura said grinning. Both girls started back to their eating with Sakura feeling much lighter than she had been earlier. Maybe everything was going to be alright after all.

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Although Neji was quite impressed with the food, he was in no mood to eat. All he could think about was his cousin being all alone in that Hufflepuff House. _How dare they do this to her!_ Neji found himself watching her all throughout the meal. Every now and then she would glance his way and he would flash her a smile causing her to blush. He loved making her blush and although he could never seriously be with her, he saw no harm in making her feel like the beautiful woman that she was.

"Hey Neji?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you alright?" Sakura asked.

"Uh…yeah. Why? Is something wrong?"

"No…but…" she giggled. "I don't think I'm ever going to sit next to you again. I feel so…hated right now."

"Why is that?"

"Look for yourself," she muttered.

Neji used his Byakugan to look down the table. He noticed that most of the people at the table were either staring at him, Naruto, or Sakura. The girls were staring his way dreamily and every time Sakura would flick her hair, the guys' jaws would drop. Neji used his vision to see what was going on at Ino's table. At the moment she was indulging the giggly group of girls with Ninja stories and it seemed that a few of them were trying to get her to talk to Sasuke in which she was very quick to tell them he was off limits. He chuckled before using his eyes to see the happenings at the Slytherin. _Ahh…_It looked as though Sasuke was gearing up for a fight. _Hmm…I better keep an eye on this…_

_---_

_--- _

Sasuke took out a pair of chopsticks and began eating his rice. He was well aware of the stares he was getting from some of the people at the table but he didn't care. He was used to people staring at him so it didn't bother him one bit. He was however, a bit annoyed at the constant giggles from the girls. Most days the giggling would have flattered him but for some strange reason it was annoying him. Then again, it could have just been the fact that there was nothing but rich, snobby looking girls sitting at the table with him.

Sasuke glanced over at the Gryffindor table and saw that Naruto was steady stuffing his face. He noticed that Sakura had managed to make a new friend and she was in deep conversation with her. Neji on the other hand, did not look happy at all. He was frowning all the while staring at the Hufflepuff table. From the looks of it, Neji was longing to be there with Hinata. _I don't blame him. Hinata's one fine girl._ He looked down the Gryffindor table some more but his eyes stopped suddenly when they reached pretty blonde girl. Her long blonde hair was very tantalizing and her eyes were just as enchanting. She was sitting there staring wondrously at the ceiling and Sasuke frowned. _What in the world's her problem?_ He looked up and noticed that the ceiling looked like…the night sky? _Wow. That's really cool._ He was about to get up and go harass Naruto some more when someone called out to him.

"Hey you." Sasuke looked down the table and noticed that everyone was now staring at him.

"You talkin' to me?" Sasuke asked, glaring at everyone.

"Yeah. I called on you." Sasuke noticed that a boy with wavy, bleach blonde hair was staring at him wearing the most smug of looks.

"So what do you want? If you aren't going to say anything then I'll be on my way."

"I just need to get a few things straight with you. That's all."

"Fine. So talk."

"First of all, this is _my_ table. I expect everyone here to respect _me_ at my table. By sitting here and not acknowledging anyone with a 'hello' or 'how are you' is just disrespectful." The rest of the table began to laugh but Sasuke didn't care. He wasn't about to let some blond headed punk make him look like a fool.

"What's your name?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm Malfoy…Draco Malfoy."

"Oh…I see," Sasuke said, choking back a laugh. "With a name like that no wonder your attitude sucks." The whole table got quiet as Malfoy glared at his adversary.

"You might wanna take that back. I'd hate for your first experience with magic to be a bad one." Malfoy pulled out his wand and twirled it in his hand, apparently trying to intimidate Sasuke.

"A bad experience with magic?" he laughed. "I'm not worried about your stupid magic tricks. You on the other hand might better be careful who you choose to piss off." Sasuke's sharingan eyes flared and the curse mark on his shoulder began to emerge covering half of his face. Draco stared at him but said nothing. He put his wand away and turned to his buddies leading them in a deep, whispered conversation.

---

---

_I guess Sasuke took care of it without fighting. Good job._ The plates had now cleaned themselves and it was time for them to hurry off towards their dormitories. Neji followed Sakura and Naruto up the stairs but couldn't help using his Byakugan eyes to follow Hinata as well. She looked scared to death but she was being led by some girls up the stairs and was reluctantly trying to have a conversation with them. _That's my girl…_Neji had not really been paying attention to what he was doing and before he knew it, he had bumped into someone and they both were flailing to the floor.

"Oh…my I am so sorry. I wasn't…"

"It's ok." The girl quickly stood up and began brushing herself off and that's when he realized who it was. It was the girl that Sakura had been in deep conversation with all evening. Pity he had not been paying attention. He felt kind of bad not knowing her name so that he could apologize properly.

"I really am sorry. I should have been paying attention. Instead I was being nosy."

"Really…it's quite alright. I'm Hermione," she said sticking out her hand. Neji took her hand and kissed the back of it.

"I'm sorry. I was taught to always kiss a woman's hand when you first greet them. My name is Neji," he said bowing politely. He smiled at her and noticed that her face turned a light shade of pink. _How cute…Hinata does the same thing…_There was a brief awkward silence before Neji spoke up.

"So I do believe that I am now lost. I would use my Byakugan eyes to find my friends but I would hate to see something that I'm not permitted to see."

"You can…see through walls?" she asked.

"Yes. I can see through just about any solid at 360 degrees. It's my families' kekegenki…"

"Bloodline trait," she finished.

"Why…yes," he said quite surprised. She grinned at him before blushing once more.

"Uh…well if you follow me then I will show you the way. We all have the same common room we rendezvous in but we'll need a password to get into the portrait hole. Once inside, the guy's dorms are on the left."

"Thank you for the information." She smiled at him before leading him up the stairs to the fat lady.

* * *

**AN:** _Okay. Let me clear up a few things. I am not mad at anyone so don't take this the wrong way. I know the top of my story says Naruto/Hinata but that's not the case. I chose those two because they are going to have some of the most important roles in the fic. Plus, since this is a crossover, I couldn't put like Harry/Ino ect. I might go back and change it leaving it blank though. I don't want people to think I am trying to deceive them. I did it to make my story easier to find when someone does a search. If you read my profile then you'll know that I am not the biggest Nar/Hin fan. I am more of a Neji/Hinata shipper so if this bothers you then I am so sorry. If you never read a Neji/Hinata fic, read my **"Metamorphosis: A Hyuga Tale"**. I got 165 good reviews so if you don't believe that it's good, take their word for it. Now then...For those of you who already like, then thank you for the reviews or PMs. I really appreciate them. Although I am not taking this seriously, you should know I'll still do my best to give you quality silliness:P Don't know when the next update will be. Might be a few days...might be weeks. Just depends on my workload. I also have other fics I'm working on so don't get too upset. School first. Review!_


	4. Staff Meeting: Orochimaru's Intentions

When the students had all exited the Great Hall, some of the faculty followed Dumbledore into his office in order to discuss some things. Dumbledore flicked his wand causing a couple of chairs to magically appear and arranged them into a circle.

"Please everyone. Take a seat." Professors Snape, McGonagall, Sprout and Flitwick all took their seats. Jiraiya took a seat across from Dumbledore.

"Albus, if you don't mind, could we wait a few seconds before we begin? He was supposed to be here for the sorting but as you can see he's late as usual." There was a loud poof and Kakashi appeared right behind Minerva scaring her senseless.

"I'm sorry madame. I didn't mean to scare you." Kakashi walked by her and took his seat next to Snape who didn't even bother to look up. It was if Kakashi hadn't appeared at all.

"Alright," Dumbledore said clearing his throat. "Now that we're all here, we can now begin. I brought you Head of Houses in so that you can get to formally meet the two new additions to the staff this term. Master Jiraiya here will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts while Kakashi will take on Lyrical Studies."

"Lyrical Studies?" Severus asked raising an eyebrow. He studied Kakashi from head to toe and frowned. Kakashi just flashed him a warm smile and shrugged.

"Yes, Lyrical Studies."

"I fiori a scomparire, e per lo campi, per l'inverno si tirano le somme rese wayward."

"A honey tongue, a heart of gall, is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall." Severus looked absolutely horrified but chose to say nothing. Kakashi smiled sweetly before turning to Dumbledore. "Please forgive me headmaster. Your Professor Snape was recited some lovely lines from one of my favorite poems. I could not help but to reply." At this, Snape looked as though he was going to puke but he still said nothing and went back to his state of non existence.

"That's quite alright. Now that we're all acquainted we need to discuss the seriousness of the situation among other things. We'll start with the Triwizard Competition that's going to be held here this year."

"Headmaster, are we really going through with this?" Minerva asked. "Even after what happened with Potter and the others last year?"

"I too can't help but to agree with Minerva," Severus said dryly. "After all, we never did get a hold of Peter Pettigrew and as unlikely as Potter's story may be, there's still that 1 percent chance that Trelawney had a vision and he told the truth about it. If that's the case, why hasn't you-know-who made his move yet? Why wait?" There was some nervous shifting from some of the staff before Jiraiya quietly spoke up.

"I agree with Severus." Snape looked up briefly before looking away unconcerned as usual.

"What do you mean?" Filius asked.

"He means that the Triwizard Tournament will be the perfect opportunity to grab Mr. Potter," Kakashi added.

"I don't really think that's possible," Alexis chimed in thoughtfully. "The tournament has always been so highly guarded by the greatest of magic not to mention all the precautions that are taken before each task."

"That may be Alexis, but this is a much more difficult situation than you think. We, as in Jiraiya and I, believe that You-Know-Who may have some help this time. His death eaters are one thing but ninjas equally powerful as him are another," Dumbledore noted.

"You mean to say that there's someone out there just as bad as he?" Minerva asked, dropping her wand in the process.

"Yes, a very powerful sanin like me from my time. His name's Orochimaru and if he gets in contact with Vold…" There was a loud gasp and Filius almost fell out his seat. "I'm sorry. I mean, if Orochimaru finds You-Know-Who then this will get really, really ugly. You think the first Great War that you had was something, Orochimaru will make it hell on earth. He's got minions to rival your so-called death eaters."

"How would you know about our death eaters? You've never seen them in action," Severus inquired.

"That may be but I've read stories about them. Rape, torcher, body possession…yeah I know about them, but Orochimaru is different. Unlike You-Know-Who's followers who only follow him because they are afraid, everyone working for Orochimaru has been brainwashed into thinking he's a God. They follow him because they think it's their life long dream to help Orochimaru get what he wants. They never back down. They never chicken out. They all will willingly put their life on the line for him," Kakashi said grimly.

"So how do we catch someone like him?" Minerva asked. Kakashi let out a sigh.

"I wish I knew. He's been in hiding for almost a year. Just six years ago he invaded our village. He didn't completely destroy it but he weakened our forces greatly. Now that we're back in full force, we need to catch him as soon as possible before he could cause any more trouble."

"But he came here which means Konoha may not be the target," Jiraiya added. "The Hokage believes that he either wants to help revive your Vold-sorry-You-Know-Who, or distract us and go after the village. We sent our best team of rookies…"

"You sent _rookies_ on a mission like this?" Severus asked.

"Oh, don't take them lightly. They are all highly trained and highly exceptional ninja. But don't take my word for it. Drop by my class tomorrow for a show like no other," Jiraya said grinning. "Anyway, we left the others to guard the village."

"So if he doesn't go after Konoha, what can You-Know-Who do for him?" Alexis asked nervously.

"Well…" Kakashi sighed. "I guess I need to come right out with it. Orochimaru…We're not really sure of his intentions. All we have are theories. Theory one states that maybe he wants to revive You-Know-Who and force him to help crush the leaf village. We have our doubts about this one because if that was the case, he would have already done so by now. Another theory- very unlikely but possible- is that he may want to help You-Know-Who take over your world. If that's the case then you're all in for one hell of a fight."

"Any other theories?" Severus asked dryly. "All this speculating is boring me to death and I have lesson plans that I need to make." Jiraiya just shook his head before picking up where Kakashi left off.

"Well our latest theory has to do with our very on Naruto Uzumaki."

"What about him?" Minerva asked. Severus clicked his tongue and cut her a look but she snapped his head off. "Severus, if you are bored then please, by all means get the hell out of here! As this Naruto boy is a part of my family now, I have a right to know how best to look after him. Maybe if you spent more time worrying about your students too, they wouldn't act like such pompous fools!" Severus rolled his eyes but remained silent and in his place. Everyone knew that when Minerva spoke, she meant business.

"To answer your question Minerva, Naruto has been running for most of his teenage life. He has a great but terrible power living inside of him and if it falls into the wrong hands countless people will lose their lives," Kakashi said grimly.

"This power," Jiraiya continued, "is a Kyuubi- a nine-tailed fox spirit. His father sealed it inside of him when he was just a baby. Throughout his training over the years, he has learned to harness the power for himself thus making it his trump card in countless battles. But now…things are different now. The seal is weakening and we have no idea how to fix it. The 4th gave his life to seal that spirit. It would seem that it's the only way to suppress this terrible power."

"One minute you say it's terrible, another that it's great. Which one is it already?" Severus snapped.

"It's great in the sense that it's powerful. Terrible in the sense that it's killing him slowly every time he uses it. There are people that want to extract that power from him but we can't let that happen. I have been close to death only twice in my life and training with Naruto brought me close to death for the second time. The power…it's truly amazing but if it gets out of hand he can't control it. Orochimaru knows this so he may try to get Naruto. He may try to get Harry as well," Jiraiya whispered.

"What?!?! WHAT?!?!" Minerva gasped. "But…but why?" she asked, almost to tears.

"Because Harry would be the perfect trade off to convince You-Know-Who to help extract the Kyuubi within Naruto."

"Why would he need You-Know-Who's help? I thought you said Orochimaru was very powerful himself?" Alexis asked.

"Orochimaru has spent years doing strange research. Who's to say he hasn't figured out a way to get the bijuu using magic," Kakashi concluded. The room was quite for several seconds before Dumbledore finally broke the silence.

"This just means we have a lot of work to do. I expect everyone to help keep the boys safe. In order to do that, we need to start doing a little research of our own. We need to find a way to help Naruto. If the bijuu is slowly killing him then we haven't much time. He uses the power to fight…If he ends up in a fight against You-Know-Who, he'll need that power but it could cost him his life in the end and we don't want that. Also, we know You-Know-Who wants Harry dead. We cannot let that happen either. So somewhere between the tournament challenges and regular classes, we will get researching. I want to save both these boys lives and they will need all the help they can get." They all nodded in agreement before Dumbledore dismissed them. Only Severus remained behind on behalf of Dumbledore.

"Yes headmaster?"

"I need you to find a way to help the boy. You're the greatest Potion's Master in the world, I know you can do it."

"Don't indulge me Albus. It's not necessary. I'll do my best to help the boy but it won't be easy. I'll need a medical history of the boy and a full examination of his body."

"That won't be necessary right now. The 5th is an exceptional medical ninja and between the two of you, I'm sure you can come up with something."

"When do I get to meet this 5th Hokage?" he asked rolling his eyes.

"You're going to go to her this weekend but be warned. She doesn't take criticism lightly and her tongue is as sharp as yours. I wouldn't push her buttons too far. Her punch is equivalent to ten thousand seals. Have a nice night Severus." Dumbledore disappeared leaving a very trepid Severus behind to ponder over his situation. This year was going to be an interesting one indeed.

* * *

**AN:**_Okay. It would seem that my story has taken a serious turn. Gahh…I didn't mean for it to get like that but I am also writing this for a friend and so she made it this way. –cough- **wrenbaily**…Anyway, a few things you out to know…_

_"A honey tongue, a heart of gall, is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall"----This is a line taken from a poem titled "**The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd**" by **Sir Walter Raleigh**. The lines that Snape recite in Italian also come from that poem._

_Filius is the first name I've given to Professor Flitwick. I have no idea if that's really his first name. That's the name that I saw everywhere so I am sticking with it. Alexis is Professor Sprout._

_There may be some dark turns to the story if I keep it fairly serious. I haven't decided yet but I will keep the occasional fluff and down right silliness to a certain degree. If it turns dark then you'll def know that this is an 'M' rated fic. You have been warned. Also, I am not following Rowling's books. In fact, disregard them completely. I am going to change a whole lot of things so you have been warned. You might not like the pairings so if you don't then go away. No one's forcing you to read this._


	5. Harry Potter, meet the idiot

Naruto and Sakura both sat by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Everyone had already gone upstairs to bed. The only one's that remained besides the two of them were Ron and two other people that Sakura assumed were friends of his, although the red-headed girl could have passed as a cousin or something to him.

"Man, what the heck is taking Neji so long? I'm getting tired and quite frankly I am sick of the hushed whispers going on behind us," Naruto complained.

"Yeah, well get over it. We need to discuss with Neji about our classes and whatnot. We also need to find out about this Harry person and…"

"Who cares about some Harry-what-his-name! All I care about is beating the pervy sage to a bloody pulp for calling me out like that! Who does he think he is?! I am not some showgirl that he can display for his own personal…" The portrait door swung open and in walked Hermione followed closely by Neji.

"Neji! Where the hell have you been man? We've been waiting forever!"

"I got lost," he stated flatly. "Hermione here helped me find my way."

"You? Got _lost?_" Naruto asked raising his eyebrows. "You have 360 degree vision and can see through walls yet you got…lost?"

"Oh leave him alone Naruto. In case you didn't know, it's rude to just look through walls especially when you're staying in unfamiliar territory. I'm sure Neji was just being polite."

"You're right," Hermione chimed in. "He um…well you get the idea. He didn't want to mess around and accidentally end up spying on the girls."

"It's ok," Sakura said bowing her head.

" 'Mione we've been waiting on you. Aren't you going to speak to Harry? He hasn't seen you all summer." Hermione's eyes went wide and a broad grin crossed her face. She quickly ran past Ron and threw her arms around the scruffy haired boy who was wearing glasses. He had beautiful, piercing green eyes but he looked as though he was lacking proper nutrition.

"I'm sorry Harry. I was helping one of the new students find their way."

"Better you than Malfoy," Harry answered. Sakura watched as they pulled away and turned their attention back towards them.

"Psst. Hey Sakura, why are they staring at us?" Naruto whispered.

"I don't…" Sakura started but Hermione motioned for her to come over. Sakura smiled as she hurried towards them.

"Sakura this is Harry Potter."

"Huh? Oh…I'm…It's a pleasure to meet you Harry." They shook hands before Harry frowned.

"What's this about 'Mione?" he asked.

"Well…you weren't downstairs for dinner this evening."

"No, I wasn't hungry but what does that have to…"

"These new students are ninja from the Hidden Leaf Village of Konoha. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is one of their legendary sanin and they are here on a mission that I believe closely involves you."

"What do you mean?" At this point Sakura chimed in and offered her apologies.

"I'm sorry Harry. I don't know too much about you or that guy who's been chasing after you but we're here on a mission to catch someone who is probably even more powerful than your You-Know-Who. He's um…" Sakura lowered her voice so that Naruto couldn't hear. "He's probably after Naruto too and so…"

"I HEARD MY NAME! WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING?!" Naruto yelled. Sakura let out a sigh before turning and eyeing him angrily.

"I mentioned your name because I was explaining to them how much of an idiot you are!"

"I'm no idiot," Naruto huffed. "I'm just misunderstood," he grinned. There was a loud snicker that caused Naruto to grin. It came from the red headed girl standing next to Ron. Naruto smiled at her but she only blushed and looked at the floor.

"Uh…I'm sorry about that. Naruto's just…"

"Special," Ron added with a snicker.

"WHAT YOU SAY?!" Naruto yelled.

"You heard me. I said you were special. And no, I don't mean that as a compliment…damn idiot."

"Why you…" Naruto ran at him his fingers positioned for shadow clones but Neji grabbed him from behind. "HEY MAN! LET ME GO! I'LL TEACH HIM A THING OR TWO!"

"Calm down Naruto. Whether or not you're really an idiot doesn't matter. All that matters is that we successfully complete this mission. In order to do that, we're going to have to make friends and get along. Besides, you can show off all you want tomorrow in class. I'm sure you can work off some of that steam against Sasuke. Also, I'm pretty sure Sakura's not in the mood to heal you or Ron if you two try and kill one another."

"He's no match for me," Ron said flatly. At this point, the red head popped Ron upside the head and glared at him as if daring him to say anything else. Naruto burst out laughing before shrugging his shoulders.

"Fine then. I'll wait. Since I know ero senin very well, I'm sure most of our lessons will be 'hands on'. The person that ends up going against me will be in for one hell of a fight."

"Uh…right," Neji said shaking his head. Hermione stifled a giggle before turning her attention back to Harry.

"They're really quite alright Harry. They are just here trying to catch this Orochimaru person before he can cause you any problems considering who you are and everything."

"Yeah but we don't know if Voldemort is even back in power yet," Harry stated frankly.

"That may be but Wormtail did manage to escape last term. Anyway, the least we can do is cooperate. We're on the same side here. That goes for you too Ron."

"Yeah whatever. Just keep the idiot away from me and all will go well."

"He's going to get enough of calling me an idiot." Naruto glared at Ron his eyes a dangerous red.

"Uh…Ron, I am not taking sides or anything but you should probably leave Naruto alone. He's um…well he's like Harry in a way," Sakura said softly.

"How so?" the red head asked. Sakura stared at her for a moment but the girl quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. My name is Ginny. I'm this git's younger sister although there are times when I feel like I'm the oldest. Ron's probably the biggest git in this school next to Malfoy."

"Oh well Naruto deserves a lot of the grief that he gets; most of the time he brings it on himself. Anyway, I'm sure you'll hear all about Naruto in class tomorrow. If you want a head start, you can find information on the Kyuubi in your library, or at least that's what my master told me."

"I'll get started on it right away," Hermione said excitedly. "Anyway, we'll leave you guys to talk. I told Neji here how to get around so you shouldn't have any problems in the morning. Night all." Hermione grabbed both Harry and Ron as she departed up another set of stairs leaving Sakura with her friends.

When they had left, Sakura punched Naruto in the side.

"Hey, what the hell…was…?"

"Because you were being rude again! I told you that we have to be nice to them for the sake of this mission. Besides, they are really nice people and I'm sure Ron is just looking out for his friends like we look after one another. You are after all, are an idiot and it's not hard to tell either when you act like such a fool all of the time."

"Yeah well he's got it coming for sure tomorrow. He's in our Defense Against the Dark Arts class with us so…"

"Hey…how do you…?"

"I read it off of the list over there near the fireplace." Neji and Sakura looked at each other curiously before Neji used his Byakugan to find the list. Sure enough it was hanging near the fireplace and it had all the Gryffindor classes divided up by year. It listed everything including which other houses that would be taking each class with them.

"He's right Sakura. It has down here that we have…what the hell is Lyrical Studies?"

"Huh?" Naruto asked.

"Oh…sorry. Yeah so we have something called Lyrical Studies with Kakashi sensei in the morning. That class we will have with the Hufflepuffs."

"Isn't that Hinata's House?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, and I'm quite relieved. Let's see…Next we will have…Potions with the Ravenclaw students."

"Oh good. That means I can chit chat with Ino Pig," Sakura noted.

"Later on alternating days we have a class about broom riding."

"Fun, fun….what else?" Naruto asked.

"We have Charms, Divination, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. All of these we will have with the Slytherins."

"Sasuke's group. Gahh, I can't stand…"

"Yeah, yeah get over it Naruto. Anyway, we need to make sure we listen out for anything. Tsunade-sama told me that Dumbledore doesn't trust everyone here more specifically a few of the people in the Slytherin House," Sakura said grimly.

"Well we'll just have to warn Sasuke tomorrow. In the meantime, I say we retire for the night. Magic is not particularly our thing and we need to be prepared for anything tomorrow," Neji replied. They all nodded before departing to bed.

**GRYFFINDOR**

**RR--RR--RR--RR--RR--RR--RR--RR**

Neji and Naruto headed up the stairs. Their names were on the door to the right. When they entered, they found themselves face to face with Harry and Ron. There was a brief moment of awkward silence before Neji spoke up.

"Is there a particular reason why you both are staring at us? I don't mean to be rude but I get the feeling that we're not wanted here."

"No, it's not that. I'm just…I'm curious about the two of you," Harry said quickly. "Why…how is it that you are supposed to be like me…Naruto?" Naruto just stared at him for a second before a wry grin crossed his face.

"It's really a long story and to be perfectly honest with you, I don't know enough about you to understand it myself but I'm sure Sakura or Ino can tell you. I have people after me but…I don't want to talk about that right now. I am just super excited about tomorrow. That old coot better let me summon a toad or else."

"A…_toad_?" Ron asked.

"Yeah a toad. Do you know what a toad is?" Naruto asked.

"OF COURSE I KNOW…" but Harry cut him off.

"Never mind Ron. Alright then. Well um…you two are bunking on the other side of the room."

"Thank you," Neji bowed before dragging Naruto to bed.

**EXPECTO!**

**xx--xx--xx--xx--xx--xx--xx**

Sakura entered her room and saw that Hermione was sitting on a bed reading a book by candle light.

"Hey again. I hope you don't mind but I was doing some light reading." Sakura glanced at the cover of the book and saw that it was a book on the ninja arts.

"It's alright."

"I find all of this ninja stuff very fascinating!" she exclaimed

"Oh well, it's alright. I'm sure magic is just as fascinating."

"Mmm…maybe but everything you do is just by using your body and your own skills. Not muttering magic spells and whatnot. You guys train so hard and I'm sure that Professor Jiraiya will prove to be equally fascinating."

"Oh you have no idea," Sakura said laughing.

"So um…I know that it's really none of my business but I really want to know about Naruto. If he's like Harry then that means he must have had a pretty rough life." Sakura sighed before taking a seat on the bed next to Hermione.

"Yeah…Naruto's life hasn't exactly been the easiest one. He's had it pretty rough since he was very small. I am ashamed to say it but I didn't help much either. I was just as bad as everyone else in the village, ridiculing him. I…" She wiped her eyes as Hermione continued to stare at her wondrously. "I can tell you some things about him but can we wait until tomorrow? I'm really tired and it's going to take me a while to get used to being separated from everyone."

"Oh yeah. That's quite alright. Good night Sakura."

**xx--xxx--xx**

The next morning, Hermione and Sakura awoke extra early so that they could meet the others for breakfast. Sakura and Hermione headed down the stairs and much to their surprise, all the other ninja were already waiting outside the great hall.

"You're late," Sasuke muttered.

"Oh shut it Sasuke. It's not like you were that much earlier," Naruto mumbled. He was sprawled out on the floor in front of the double doors to the Great Hall. Sasuke just mumbled something that sounded like 'bitch' and reverted his attention back to the floor.

"Yeah, sorry guys," Sakura mumbled. "Anyway, I just wanted to wish everyone good luck today. Although we all won't be in the same classes just do what you're told and listen out for…things. Kakashi-sensei is supposed to keep each of us updated on things and I will be sending Tsunade-sama a report keeping her in the know as well. Hermione has agreed to help any of us in any way that she can if needed and…NARUTO PAY ATTENTION!"

"What? I am paying attention. And besides, I don't need any help. Her friends are the ones that are going to need help once I'm done…"

"Yeah yeah. Get a move on," Sakura snapped. They all headed through the double doors and into the great hall. Only Hinata and Neji stayed behind. Neji kissed the back of Hinata's hand before running his hands along the sides of her arms.

"I wanted you to stay behind because I needed to make sure that you were alright princess."

"Yeah…I'm fine. People treat me nice in my House. I just…I still feel somewhat alone Neji." She lowered her head but he lifted it back up cupping her face.

"You know you have me."

"But…"

"I know you are still somewhat afraid of me but I'm okay with that. I know it's going to take a while for you to get used to me treating you like the princess that you are but I promise you that you'll never have to worry about anything as long as I'm around."

"Hai…thank you Neji-kun."

"Anytime princess." She grabbed his hand and led him into the Great Hall feeling much better than she had before. It was going to be a long day full of surprises that nothing or no one could possibly prepare them for.

* * *

**AN:**_ I know. Long chapter. Not a whole lot of action. I'm getting there it's just taking a while. Love you lots. The next update will be he classes. It's taking a while since I have so many POVs. Anyway...R&R...Ta Ta! Oh btw, don't get used to insinuated pairings. I tend to do that a lot but that doesn't necessarily mean they'll get together. You've been warned._


	6. Welcome to Lyrical Studies

The Leaf shinobi ate a quick breakfast with Hermione and her friends before they all went their separate ways. Hermione led Sakura to the room that's normally used for Transfiguration. They entered the room and each took seats near their friends. Neji quickly caught up with Hinata grabbing her by the hand causing her to blush. He led her to a pair of desks near the front of the classroom where they sat down together. Harry and Ron immediately went off together leaving Sakura, Naruto, and Hermione behind.

"Hey, I see that Ginny is just getting here so I'll go sit with her," Hermione said.

"Alright. Naruto you and I are together," Sakura said with a sigh.

"Oh yes!" he exclaimed. "I've been waiting years to hear you say that!"

"No, not like…never mind. Just take your seat and shut up." He sulked for a moment before finally taking his seat. The bell sounded and the class got quite as they patiently awaited their professor. Five minutes…seven minutes…twelve minutes and still no sign of Kakashi sensei.

"Dammit. Does he always have to be this late?" Sakura muttered.

"As a matter of fact I do."

"GAHHHHHHH!" she screamed. Kakashi sensei had appeared right beside her and was now standing over her desk smiling down at her. In his hand was what appeared to be one of master Jiraiya's so-called novels. "Why'd you sneak up on me like that? And….I just know you aren't about to teach us from…from that?!" she exclaimed pointing at his novel.

He just grinned at her before making his way to the front of the room. Sakura noticed that the room had become unbecomingly quieter and with good reason. There were very few guys in the room and they all had their mouths wide open at Kakashi's sudden appearance. As for the girls, well, needless to say Kakashi sensei's sex appeal had increased tenfold. Every girl in the room with the exception of Hinata was staring dreamily at Kakashi. Some of them were so taken by him that their mouths were hanging wide open.

"Good morning class. For those of you who don't know me my name is Kakashi Hatake. I'm sorry that I kept you waiting but I got caught up," he said with a grin.

"Yeah I bet you did," Naruto mumbled. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him before continuing.

"Lyrical Studies is basically the ninja/wizard version of the Muggle's study of literature, more specifically poetry. I love to read a good book…"

"More like good smut," Neji muttered. Hinata stifled a laugh as she lowered her head to keep from meeting Kakashi's eyes. Kakashi pretended not to hear them and continued with his introduction.

"But I know most girls will find this class a lot more interesting than the guys. However, this class could benefit you guys as well. I know plenty of women who are a sucker for some good lines. Say them just right and women will be putty in your hand," he grinned.

"WHAT?!" Sakura exclaimed.

"I'm just kidding Sakura," Kakashi said with a laugh. She did not see it but when she turned her head Kakashi winked at some of the guys. "Now then, let's get started. It would seem that everyone in here is sitting with a good friend or someone that they know pretty well. I don't like that. This class will be so much more beneficial if everyone got to know someone else."

"Aw, come on Kakashi sensei. Sakura never lets me sit with her. Don't ruin this for me!" Naruto whined, but Kakashi shook his head.

"No buts Naruto. Besides, you haven't a chance at Sakura acting the way you're acting now. Now get a move on. Let's see…I want you next to the red head…uh…" he frowned.

"I'm Ginny," she said blushing. Naruto stared at her for a second and then frowned.

"I got to sit next to a girl?" he complained.

"Uh…yes. What's wrong with that? Don't you like girls?" The class all started to laugh, everyone except Ginny who looked plum embarrassed.

"Yeah but I like Sakura so why can't I…"

"Move it Naruto." Naruto sulked over towards Ginny and Hermione's table and took Hermione's place.

"Um…Professor…sir? Where do you want me?" Hermione asked. Kakashi looked around the room and saw that Neji was playing in Hinata's hair. _Sorry Neji but you need to make some new friends._

"Hyuuga Hinata." Her head snapped up and she looked scared to death. Kakashi flashed her a warm smile before asking her to stand. "Hermione, I want you to sit next to Neji." Neji looked absolutely furious but chose to keep his mouth shut. He was afraid that bad words would come from his mouth. He watched in agony as Hinata moved across the room waiting for further instructions. Hermione nervously took her seat next to Neji who nodded his head politely. "Alright. Moving on. Let's see…you in the back. The red head." Ron Weasley's head snapped up.

"Yes sir?"

"I want you to take the empty seat next to Sakura."

"WHAT! But…"

"Go on Ron," Harry hissed. "You'll be alright. Hermione says she's nice enough so just go with the flow." Ron sighed as he grabbed his things and headed to the empty seat next to Sakura. Sakura did her best to give him a warm smile but all Ron did was look ill.

"Boys," Sakura muttered.

"Alright then Hinata. That leaves you with Mr. Potter in the back." Hinata nodded before quickly taking her seat in the back next to Harry. Harry was about to whisper hello but she quickly turned away staring towards Kakashi. "Well then, now that we're all arranged better we can now begin."

"Finally," Naruto muttered. Ginny choked trying to hold back her laughter but the goofy look on Naruto's face caused her to burst out laughing.

"We will do different things from day to day. Sometimes I'll assign you a poem to recite to the class. Other times, you and your partner may have to do some lines together. Then there are times when you will act out scenes or poems which may require some physical contact."

"_Physical contact_?" Neji asked raising his brows. _Sounds more like he wants people to act out scenes from his porn. _

"Oh yes. You see, we're going to study all the aspects of lyrics whether it be poetry, literature, music, or screenplays. We're going to do it all. The physical part won't be too big of a deal. Hmmm…let's see. Hermione?"

"Yes…sir?" she squeaked.

"You're one of the few here that live among Muggles am I correct?"

"Uh…yes?"

"So you know a little bit about Muggle poetry and acting."

"Yes…a little."

"Very good. So will you do me the honor of helping me in today's demonstration?"

"Uh….sure," she managed. She got up from her seat and headed towards the front of the classroom. Kakashi turned to a certain page in the small book he had been reading and handed it to her.

"Th…this one?" she squeaked. She cast him a wavering look but he only smiled.

"Why yes. Do you know it?"

"Yes, but I don't think…"

"Don't worry about it. Your headmaster insisted upon it," he grinned. "He said that you were the most mature of the bunch. Anyway, I just want you to stand here while I show the guys how it's done. Do you feel comfortable enough to be my demonstration?" he asked. She nodded her head and then Kakashi began.

"This poem is titled 'Lustful Longing'." He placed the book on his desk before moving to stand in front of Hermione. He took one of her hands into his own as he began reciting the poem softly.

_Tell me what I'd have to change. Who would I have to be_

_To slip into your arms; for you to make sweet love to me._

_Must I climb the highest cliff; swim along the ocean floor_

_Crawl over broken glass – would you demand that I do more?_

_Could you take me as I am, with my issues and my flaws_

_Pull me to your chest without a hesitation or a pause?_

Kakashi ran his hands up Hermione's right arm, across her shoulder then to her chest before making his way to stand behind her. The class was now watching intently as the scene before them unfolded slowly, none of them quite knowing what to think. Most of the girls were now squirming in their seats mouths wide open with longing while most of the boys were shocked that their teacher was seducing a student. Sakura and Neji's eyes met and both just rolled their eyes. They watched as Kakashi slid his arms around Hermione's waist pulling her closer from behind. He leaned over and began speaking softly in her ear.

_Slide your hungry tongue between my parted lips_

_Run your anxious fingers along my quivering hips_

At this, his fingers wandered playfully up and down her sides. Her eyes now closed she began to lean back and relax in his arms. Neji's eyes just widened with shock as well as Sakura's. He cut her a look and mouthed 'can he seriously do that' but she only shrugged her shoulders.

_Wrap me in your passion, expose your every need_

_Press your steamy lips to mine, every secret freed_

Kakashi brushed his lips against her neck then moved towards her ear. A soft, barely audible moan escaped her lips causing him to chuckle softly.

_Sprinkle your tears across my cheek, confess every desire_

_Moan my name, call me yours, and set my soul on fire_

At this point, all of the girls in the class were hanging onto Kakashi's every word, drooling as though they wanted to do him. Sakura muttered something along the lines of 'show off' but Ron didn't hear her. Instead, his mouth was wide open too, staring dreamily at the site before him.

Kakashi could feel Hermione losing her balance so he ran his hands up her sides then up her arms, lifting them high in the air. He clenched her wrists squeezing them gently before letting her arms fall freely. She opened her eyes looking slightly confused before he made way to stand in front of her. He smiled as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.

_Need me more with every breath that slips into your chest,_

_Please me nightly, miss me daily, never compare me with the rest_

Hermione's head started to fall but Kakashi lifted it back into place, cupping her face with his hands.

_Grip my wrists; look in my eyes, and say the words I long to hear_

_Kiss me roughly, and weep my name, forever hold me dear_

At this Hermione just lost it. She leaned forward and quickly lowered his mask before pressing her lips to his, wrapping her arms around him, kissing him hungrily. Kakashi responded without even thinking kissing her back just as hungrily. His hands moved up her sides and behind her back jerking her body closer as his tongue did wonders in her mouth. He tore his lips from hers and grinned as he leaned forward to whisper the last lines of the poem in her ear.

_Do I ask for wishes that could never quite come true?_

_Is my sin the greatest fault that I can't stop loving you?_

He backed away from the dazed looking Hermione who just stood there staring at him dreamily. The bell sounded for the class to dismiss but everyone just sat there not quite knowing what to do next.

"I think Hermione deserves a round of applause for her wonderful acting skills," Kakashi noted. The class soon erupted into applause, the girls cheering madly for Hermione. Kakashi winked at her before turning to face the class. "I hope you all learned something today. This is the kind of thing we'll be doing from time to time. Guys you better bring your A-game because if all of the ladies act like Hermione then you have your work cut out for you. You are dismissed." Everyone excitedly grabbed their belongings and headed out of the room talking in hushed tones about the class. Hermione was the only one that stayed behind. Kakashi approached her and smiled down at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah…uh…professor sir? I'm so…sorry about…I know that I acted out of line and…"

"It's quite alright Hermione. You did just fine."

"I know but that…kiss…"

"Was my fault. I probably should have picked a poem that was a little less…uh…sensual. The only reason I chose that poem was because I knew it would get everyone's attention. In order for a class to be successful, one must have something that interests all of the students. All of you are fairly grown now so I thought that it wouldn't be a big deal."

"Yeah…I suppose you're right," she replied glumly.

"I can tell something is still bothering you. I hope I did not offend you. The headmaster took a look at the poem and assured me that you'd be able to get through it with no problems. I apologize if I have wronged you." He cupped her hands into his own while giving her an apologetic look.

"No…it's not that. I just…I feel like I should tell you that I…I wasn't acting," she managed.

"I know," he grinned. "And it's quite alright. But if it makes you feel any better I promise not to tell a sole."

"Hai…thank you," she whispered.

"Anytime. Now get out of here. I don't want professor Snape giving my beautiful star actress a hard time," he grinned. He finally managed to get a smile out of her and she took off out of the room heading towards the dungeons.

Kakashi let out a huge breath once she was gone. _What a way to start the semester!_ He had not intended for things to go…astray, but somehow he managed to stir up the young beauty's sexual urges. She was like putty in his hands and he knew that. He also had come to realize that she was indeed very beautiful but he was not here to seduce the students. He was here to have fun while investigating Orochimaru's whereabouts and that's exactly what he planned on doing…if he could stay focused.

* * *

**AN: Alright. Sorry about the long, long delay but it took me FOREVER to find just the right poem for Kakashi. -grins- I told you to expect the unexpected and you really need to. This is my fun fic which means pretty much ANYTHING can happen if I see fit for it to happen. Also, the Hogwarts students are older than they are in the actual books. For example, Ginny and Ron are basically twins in this story. I have them both in the same year. They are all at least 17 years old but they are acting like normal teenagers. And this fic will have some fluff, crack,...whatever my brain decides to come up with. There will be LEMONS...at some point. There will be pointless lemons at some times but that's the whole point of writing a fun fic. Now go review...LOL The next update? Who knows? Oh and the poem is titled 'Lustful Longing' by Jennifer Benfer. So she gets the credit for that wonderful poem. Don't sue me. It's all hers.  
**


	7. Snape and the Disaster that is Potions

As soon as Hermione left the room, Kakashi hurried over to the teacher's lounge. He was very relieved to see that Jiraiya was the only other person in the room. He was sitting back in a recliner reading The Daily Prophet.

"Anything good in it?" Kakashi asked as he fixed himself a glass of water from the water cooler.

"Naa, nothing out of the ordinary. Just a bunch of articles by Rita Skeeter trying to stir up trouble about this year's Tri-Wizard Tournament."

"Oh I see."

"So how was your first class?"

"Oh it was…interesting."

"I see. So how many students did you seduce?"

"Only one," he grinned.

"Who was it?"

"That Hermione girl."

"Ahh, nice pick. She's very pretty you know."

"Yeah but I can't be fraternizing with the students."

"True but everyone needs a little lovin'," he grinned.

"That may be but her kissing me in class was hard enough to cover up. I'll have to be more careful next time."

"Oh gee Kakashi. Live a little. It's not a crime to uh…play around a bit," he grinned.

"Yeah but it _IS_ a crime to play with Dumbledore's students. Besides, I'm sure I can control myself. Anyway, shouldn't you be getting ready for your class?"

"Nope. I'm already prepared. I only have one class remember? Besides, I'm going to use Naruto for all my demonstrations."

"Oh geez. Does that mean I need to be there as well?"

"Probably. I don't plan on forcing the kyuubi's powers but lately it doesn't take much to get a rise out of that stupid fox. Yeah, you need to be there and while you're there, you can scope out some of the pretty young ladies for…"

"Your research right? Uh huh. We'll see."

"Well you drink your water and get back to your novel. I think I'm going to watch the show."

"What show?"

"Well, Naruto and the others have Potion's next with that greasy haired Professor Snape. He reminds me of Tsunade-sama so this should prove to be very interesting. Besides, if I know Naruto, he'll act the same way he acts around Tsunade." At this, Kakashi spit out his water.

"Damn. Alright. Let's get going."

--xx--

**--POTIONS--**

--xx--

"Potions? What the hell is potions? And when do we get to use the stupid wand thingies that we got from that old Oliver guy?"

"Naruto, keep it down and stop damn complaining," Sakura hissed. She was sitting at the table behind Naruto and Neji's with Ino.

"Yes, I agree with Sakura Naruto. You really must keep your voice down. I overheard a couple of characters discussing professor Snape and I can assure you that he's got a bad reputation."

"Yeah well he don't scare me," Naruto mumbled. They sat there quietly, Naruto mumbling the whole time as students started to file in. Ginny and Hermione took the seats across from Neji and Naruto. Harry, Ron and Neville sat behind Hermione, but across from Ino and Sakura.

"Hermione, if the potion's really hard today you know you and Gin gotta help me," Ron hissed.

"I'll do no such thing Ronald. For once you are on your own."

"But 'Mione…"

"That's enough of your foolish whining Weasley. One more word and I'll take ten points from Gryffindor just because you are pathetic." The dungeon door slammed shut and professor Snape quickly hurried to the front of the room. He waved his wand at the blackboard and words magically appeared. They seemed to be a recipe for a complicated potion. Sakura's face immediately brightened. _Now's my chance to test my skills as a medical ninja. Maybe it's a complicated healing potion…_

"This is the potion you will attempt to concoct. I say attempt because 94 percent of you will fail at it while the other 6 percent of you will surely produce something that's merely acceptable." Sakura wrinkled her brow frowning up at him. _Is he serious? He must don't know..._ "You may begin."

"Huh? Begin what?" Naruto asked. He had not been paying attention. Instead, he had been focusing chakra in his hand, attempting to make mini chakra balls.

"We have to get started making this potion."

"Oh…oh right." Naruto squinted his eyes looking up at the blackboard. "One eye of newt…Neji, what's eye of newt?"

"Uh…well, it's…hell if I know," he muttered. He opened his book and flipped to the back to the index. When he found the page that it was on, he turned to it and saw a picture of what he was looking for. "It's this right here."

"Oh ok." Both Naruto and Neji took out their cauldrons and began heating them. Then they both began chopping up their leaves and other herbs.

"Alright. The next thing we do Naruto is add one toad."

"Oh ok. Well that one's easy but…does it have to be dead or alive?"

"God you really are an idiot," Ino mumbled.

"HEY! WHAT YOU SAY?!"

"Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto looked up to see Professor Snape towering over him and Neji. Neji acted as if nothing was wrong and continued to work on his potion. _Creepy old man. Better not say anything to me or I will do him in for sure. I am not in the best of moods so it better be Naruto he's after._

"Uh…yes sir?"

"Ten points from Gryffindor. I don't know who you think you are but I do not allow such behavior in my classroom."

"But I didn't do anything."

"You were screaming and that was totally unnecessary."

"I'm sorry but she…"

"I don't want or need to hear your feeble excuses. You're the same as Potter, our _other_ celebrity. You strut about the scool thinking that you can do whatever you want because of your fame and glory but not with me."

"I don't see what my _fame_ has to do with Naruto," Harry said frankly. Snape cut his eyes toward him and smirked.

"Ten more points from Gryffindor. If you can't make the connection then that's your problem. I, on the other hand, am in charge in this room and if I choose to relate your feeble life to that of a kit's then that's what I'll do."

"I didn't know I was a celebrity so go me," Naruto grinned. Ino and Sakura groaned before throwing paper at the back of his head. "Hey, quit it!"

"You're the one who needs to get a clue!" Sakura hissed. "You keep on pushing his buttons then you're going to get yourself into a whole lot of trouble."

"Oh who cares what that greasy haired bat thinks? I'm not afraid of him," Naruto mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Professor Snape asked softly.

"What? You're still here? I thought you may have sprouted wings and flown to the other side of the room," Naruto muttered. The entire class erupted into laughter. Neji held his head down to keep from laughing out loud while Harry and Ron did nothing to mask their amusement.

"Si…LENCE!" Snape yelled.

"What are you yelling for old man? I thought you said indoor voices only."

"Ten more points from Gryffindor," Snape hissed. He pulled his wand from the inside of his robe and pointed it at Naruto. "Now let's get something straight. I've heard a lot about you and your _special_ powers but that doesn't mean you have the right to insult me in my classroom. You keep testing me and I will make the rest of your stay here at Hogwarts a living hell."

"I'd like to see you try it grease box and get that stick out of my face before I knock it out," Naruto snapped.

"And I'd like to see _you _try it."

"Enough Naruto," Neji said softly.

"But Neji…"

"Listen to your friend kit. At least I now know one of you has some sense. And to think I thought all you ninja were ignorant fools whose egos surpassed even that of the 'Boy Who Lived'."

"Ignorant are we?" Neji asked softly. His Byakugan eyes were blazing and his fists were clinched ready for battle.

"Now now Neji. Calm down," Naruto mocked. "Did you not tell me to let it go? You should learn to take your own advice."

"But he just called me an idiot. I'm no idiot! I'm a fucking genius."

"Yes, we all know this Hyuuga boy but if I can't take a stab at him you can't either."

"But…"

"I DO NOT HAVE AN EGO PROBLEM!" Neji and Naruto looked back to see Harry staring at Snape furiously. His wand was clenched in his fist and he was shaking like mad. Snape only looked bored ignoring Potter completely before taking his seat at his desk.

"Potter you've just cost Gryffindor another ten points. No, make that twenty."

"TWENTY!" Ino yelled. She was standing on her feet glaring angrily at the greasy haired man across the room.

"Yes twenty. Are you deaf?"

"Why I ought to…"

"Sit down," Sakura hissed.

"Nope. That did it for me. Watch this." She arched her hands together and closed her eyes mumbling a jutsu. "Ninja Art-Mind Transfer Jutsu," she whispered.

"No, Ino no…" But it was too late. Ino's body went limp and her head slouched over onto Sakura's. _Oh gee…this is going to be really bad…_

"Does anyone else have something to say?" Snape coaxed. "I didn't think so. Gryffindor, I think you've set a new record today. I don't think you'll be able to recover enough to win the House Cup this year. Pity. Clearly fame isn't…" Professor Snape stopped mid sentence and stood up out of his chair. He had a look of pure enlightenment on his face. He reached inside his robe and pulled out his wand. _Oh damn. I don't know any…wait. Yes, I do._ Ino made Professor Snape climb on top of his desk with the rest of class looking slightly confused.

"She used her Mind Transfer Jutsu," Neji commented.

"Yeah and we're so going to be in trouble," Sakura groaned.

"Yeah well, he had it coming," Naruto mumbled.

"BIPPIDY BOPPEDY BOO! I SMELL LIKE POOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Snape yelled.

He was waving his wand around madly making purple sparks fly from his wand as he spun around the table singing badly. Ino was giggling on the inside and was well aware of Snape's conscience trying to kick her out but she was too strong for him. _Let's see what else I can make him do…_He jumped from the table and ran across the room wildly. The class erupted into laughter and even Sakura had to laugh at this. Snape looked like a giant penguin running around the room. He stopped when he got in front of Naruto and Neji and smiled sweetly.

"Neji, I think you're hot and Naruto, well, you're still an idiot."

Naruto drew back and punched Snape in the face sending him flying across the room and into shelf holding all the glass beakers. _Oh my head…_Ino looked up to see the glasses falling towards her. _Oh! Perfect time to exit. _Ino opened her eyes just in time to watch the glasses fall and hit Snape on the head. The class once again erupted into laughter. Seconds later they were silenced when the glasses exploded off of Snape and he stood to his feet. His face was swollen and he had a black eye. There were cuts all over his face and he was bleeding from the nose, but that didn't seem to have phased him in the least. His wand was stretched out in front of him and he was pointing it directly at Naruto.

"_STUPEFY!"_

"_EXPELLIARMUS!"_ Snape's wand went flying into the air and into the hands of Harry Potter.

"DETENTION! NARUTO! HARRY! DETENTION OR ELSE I'LL HAVE YOU EXPELLED! NOW GIVE ME MY WAND! GIVE IT NOW OR ELSE…!" The bell rang and everyone quickly began filing out of the room. Harry sent Snape's wand flying across the room before running out of the room. Naruto and the others all followed suit. Ino however, was having a hard time walking. Her chakra was low after using that technique and she was feeling very faint. She took three steps and fell backwards, never realizing that someone was behind her. Ron scooped Ino in his arms and hurried out of the classroom towards the medical wing.

**--xx--**

"Hey where's Ino?" Sakura asked. She, Neji, and Naruto were standing in one of the halls waiting for their next class.

"I dunno," Naruto said shrugging.

"She's with Ron." They turned to see Harry, Hermione and Ginny standing before them.

"Oh well she could have at least…"

"He took her to the hospital wing," Neji replied. He had used his blood line trait to find Ino and he spotted Ron carrying her inside the hospital wing.

"I told her not to use that technique! She know it uses up far too much chakra and can be dangerous," Sakura scolded.

"Yeah well, it was pretty damn funny," Ginny grinned.

"How did she do that?" Harry asked.

"Well, it's called the Mind Transfer Jutsu," Neji answered. "She places here spirit inside that of another body. By doing so her own body is left vulnerable. It's not a safe technique to use when you're fighting alone."

"Wow! That's so amazing!" Hermione squealed. "I'm going to be sure to look it up later."

"So…so Naruto, why did professor Snape call you a celebrity?" Harry asked.

"Huh? Hell if I know. He was just being a prick, I don't see how you make it with the old coot. He reminds me of grandma Tsunade," he said frowning.

"Oh well, what's with this 'kit' thing. He…he called you a kit."

"Uh, I don't know," Naruto replied, scratching his head.

"God, you don't know anything about yourself do you?" Neji asked.

"Uh…I know that I'm destined to be Hokage."

"That's really all you know," Neji grumbled. "His kyuubi inside of him is why he's called a kit sometimes. See the whiskers on his face?" Neji asked. Harry studied Naruto's face closely and realized that it did in fact look as though Naruto had whiskers.

"But, I still don't…"

"He'll have to explain it to you," Neji replied. "Naruto knows more about it than I do, though it may appear otherwise."

"Huh? What?" Naruto asked.

"Good luck trying to make friends and carry on a conversation with that idiot." The bell rang again signaling the start of another class session.

"Well guys I think it's time we head for the Charms room," Sakura noted.

"Oh fuck. We have that with the Slytherins," Harry grumbled.

"Harry, watch your language," Hermione hissed.

"Yeah well Malfoy's a bitch and he's got one time today."

"Wait a sec. Isn't that Sasuke's group?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah and what of it? Are you two in love or something?" Neji asked.

"HELL NO!" Naruto hissed turning red in the face. Neji just shook his head in disbelief. _I hope this session turns out better than the last._

* * *

**AN: Sorry about the long delay but as you can see I have several stories that need finishing. If I could stay away from YOUTUBE and other things, I might have time to update my stories. -sigh- But alas, I cannot help myself and between all the worldly distractions and school, I have no time to do anything. Well I hope you enjoyed the update. I think Oro will be in the next chapter...maybe. I dunno know yet and the rating WILL change to MATURE t some point but it may be a while. I haven't quite decided yet. The pairings will change from time to time so you better get used to it. No pairing is safe in this story. Don't like it? Too bad. Now review lest it be 100 days before I update again. MWAHAHAHAHA**


	8. Charming Peanuts Out of the Closet

They all turned the corner and started inside the Charms room when they heard a loud poof. They turned to see Kakashi sensei and Master Jiraiya staring at them, mainly at Naruto. Hermione turned a deep red and started fidgeting with her necklace nervously.

"Hello you guys. Is everyone having a good day so far?" Neji gave him a 'you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me' look while the others just stared at him. "I'll take that as a no," Kakashi finished.

"I'd be having an even better day if I didn't have detention tonight with that greasy haired bat," Naruto grumbled. He folded his arms across his chest and began to pout.

"Oh Naruto. Give it a rest. You brought that detention on yourself," Jiraiya scolded.

"How would you know?" he huffed. "You weren't even there!"

"Uh…yeah and in Naruto's defense, Snape can be a…"

"Shut it Harry. It isn't any of your business and besides, this guy is Naruto's master."

"That I am Hermione," Jiraiya smirked. "Kakashi was right to say that you are very keen." Hermione started to blush again causing Harry to raise an eyebrow. Sensing the awkward tension, Ginny grabbed Hermione's hand and they headed inside the classroom.

"I'm going on inside too," Neji muttered. He was followed by Harry and the others. Before Naruto could get inside the door, Kakashi grabbed him from behind.

"Whoa. Wait a second Naruto. We want to talk with you."

"Awe come on now! I didn't do anything," he whined. "Why am I always…"

"Will you stop that damn whining? Just hear us out Naruto," Jiraiya commanded.

"Fine."

"You can't go around threatening to beat up teachers. It's against the rules. That may not be the case in Konoha simply because the teachers are more than capable of beating you up instead. However, magic spells can do things to you that may fully well surpass that of any genjutsu. That being said, Professor Snape is the wrong one to piss off," Jiraiya warned.

"He started it."

"But you called him a greasy haired bat."

"But…"

"And you also told him to sprout some wings and you ended by threatening to knock that 'stick' out of his hand. If you're going to threaten somebody, at least get the terminology right. It's called a wand Naruto, not a stick."

"Whatever. Can I go now?" Before they could answer, some of the Slytherins started making their way past them into the Charms room. They were all in little groups, the first being led by a really stuck up looking blonde with bleach blonde hair that was slicked back. He sneered at them as he headed inside followed closely by two big burly guys and a dark haired girl. Sasuke was the last one to reach them. He stopped short when he saw the three of them, a large grin forming across his face.

"So what did you do now idiot? Did you kill a teacher? No wait. Maybe you scared your teachers to death and now they are kicking you out."

"Screw you Sasuke. For your information, I am not in trouble. Why don't you go inside and join your rich friends? No wait. You're all by yourself which means no one likes you. How sad Sasuke. The pretty boy is loner," he teased. He made a face, sticking his tongue out at Sasuke who only flicked him off in return.

"Once again you are wrong idiot. For YOUR information, I am alone because those losers aren't on my level. I think I pissed the blonde guy off the other day when I told him that his name sucked. As for me being a loner, you know good and well that I could have any girl I want. Unlike you who…well…you can't even attract the guys," he smirked.

"If you say so," he said flatly. This however, pissed Sasuke off even more. Naruto's tone of voice pretty much signaled the end to their pointless argument, an argument that Sasuke had been enjoying very much.

"Alright, alright you two. I swear, you guys are teammates. How much longer is it going to take for you to learn to like each other?"

"I'LL NEVER LIKE THAT LOSER!" they both screamed in unison. Both Kakashi and Jiraiya let out a sigh.

"Just…go. Go to class you two," Jiraiya said with a sigh. "I'll see you guys later today. Just…try not to get into anymore trouble Naruto."

"What about…?"

"I'm on my way to have a little chat with Ino as we speak. She knew better than to use that jutsu on a teacher." Both professors disappeared with a loud poof leaving Naruto and Sasuke outside. They both stood there silently staring at each other before Naruto shrugged.

"I'm done arguing with you. I'm going inside." Sasuke followed the kit inside and realized that the only two seats available were right next to each other. "Aw man," Naruto muttered. He and Sasuke took the two empty seats next to one another and looked off in different directions doing their best to avoid any kind of contact with one another. Sakura jumped when she saw that Sasuke took the empty seat next to her.

"Oh Sasuke, did you…?"

"Don't talk to me Sakura. I'm not in the mood," he grumbled.

"Oh…okay then," she said sadly. Draco, who was sitting right behind them scoffed.

"Hey pretty girl!" Sakura turned around and frowned.

"Are you…talking to me?" she asked.

"Yeah. You're the only pretty girl in here," he grinned. "I couldn't help but overhear that loser and how he just shunned you a while ago. You shouldn't take that. You're far too pretty for that guy." Sakura's face turned a dark shade of red. Normally a compliment like that wouldn't have phased her very much being that she was so used to guys calling her pretty but there was something about…him. She studied him for a moment. The green and silver on his robe indicated that he was from the Slytherin House which meant that he was probably bad news. His bleach blonde hair was very nice as it was slicked back, a rich boy hair style she concluded. His eyes were light gray and his eyelashes were thick and dark making him very handsome indeed. She was torn from her thoughts by the voice of Sasuke.

"Oh please. What's it to you rich boy?"

"I was just saying she could do better."

"I'm sure she could being as we aren't even a couple."

"Oh…so you guys aren't…dating…at all?" he asked.

"Nope. Have at it," Sasuke mumbled. "Just stay out of my way and keep my name out of your mouth and all will be well."

"So uh…Sakura is it? How about you and I get together sometime? I'll show you how it feels to be around a _real_ man."

"Uh…"

"She's not interested Malfoy." Draco turned to see Naruto glaring at him.

"Oh and why not?"

"Because she's with me." Sakura leaned over Sasuke and punched Naruto in the jaw.

"Yeah right you idiot. I'd never go out with you."

"That was mean Sakura," Naruto whined holding a hand against his jaw. Sasuke and Draco among a few others all doubled up with laughter. Naruto just glared at them all as he turned away still doctoring on his cheek. When Sasuke finally quit laughing, he glanced over at the young blonde and sighed.

"Let me take a look at it Naruto."

"What for? So you can see how swollen it is and laugh some more? Piss off Sasuke," he grumbled. Sasuke just stared at him, a bit taken back by his spunk before shrugging. _I was only trying to help…_

"Alright class. For those of you who don't know me, I am Professor Flitwick and today we are going to review a little bit."

"Whoa! Why the hell is that guy so short? He's like a midget only shorter," Naruto said grinning. Sasuke tried to hold back his laughter but he just couldn't. Everyone within earshot of Naruto laughed out loud. Sakura only glared at Naruto, holding up her fist in hopes of calming him down.

"I hate to say it, but the idiot has a point. I never thought about it that way," Malfoy commented. Sakura rolled her eyes at this. _For someone who claims to be a lot better than Sasuke, he certainly doesn't show it. He may be a lot nicer to girls but he's just as rude as Naruto._

"Did I miss something?" Flitwick asked. He looked around the room utterly confused.

"Uh…no sir. Just uh…inside jokes I presume." Harry and Hermione, who were sitting next to Naruto were surprised to hear Ron's voice.

"Hey, when did you get back?" Hermione asked.

"We both just got back from the hospital wing. I was gonna just leave her up there but Madam Pomfrey pointed out that the staircases like to change and that she probably wouldn't be able to find her way back."

"Oh…oh yeah," Harry grinned. "Where is she now?"

"She's on her way to Care of Magical Creatures."

"I never thought anyone would be able to penetrate Snape's mind. Everyone knows he's experienced in Occlumency," Hermione said thoughtfully.

"Occlumency? What the heck is that?" Ron asked.

"Never mind. It's something I heard McGonagall mention in class one day."

"Yeah that nurse did find it odd that Snape let her in his head. She said it wasn't like him to be thrown off his game like that. Oh well…" Ron took a seat next to Hermione. By now, most of the class had missed Flitwick's entire review speech and were now just patiently awaiting their assignment.

"Now then," Flitwick began, "ready your wands. Remember to flick your wrist slightly and the spell is _accio_. I want all of you to try and get a peanut from the other side of the room."

Everyone took out their wands and began to practice summoning. Most people, like Hermione, got their peanut on the first try while others failed at it miserably. Draco was only too happy to show off. He quickly summoned his peanut and then dangled it around in Sakura's face. Sasuke ignored them completely for he was still trying to get his peanut across the room. He had managed to get it halfway but then he kept dropping it somehow. Naruto watched Sasuke's vain attempt and could not help but to laugh.

"I don't see what's so funny idiot. At least my peanut is off of its pillow." Naruto frowned and shrugged.

"I'm sorry but I really don't see the point of using a small stick to get a fricken peanut when I could just clone myself to go and get it myself. Or I could even summon one of my toads to go and get it for me."

"You're just mad cause you can't get your wand to work."

"Am not!"

"Then prove it." Naruto huffed before clasping his wand and pointing it at a peanut across the room.

"_Ac-ceeeeeeeeo_ peanuts!" Immediately his wand started to vibrate and peanut after peanut flew his way. One peanut flew straight down his throat while others bounced off of people's foreheads.

"NARUTO! YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO SUMMON ONE PEANUT! STOP SHOWING OFF!" Sakura screamed. But that wasn't the issue. Apparently Naruto said the spell wrong and more peanuts kept flying towards everyone. At this point people started running out of the room because it seemed that the peanuts kept enlarging themselves and were starting to hurt really badly. Naruto had dropped his wand and was choking on a peanut. Sasuke grabbed Naruto from behind to hold him while Sakura focused chakra to her hand. Then she punched Naruto in the stomach and the peanut came right up.

"Thanks…Sakura," he coughed.

"Yeah well how the hell are we supposed to fix this? I'm tired of being hit with peanuts!" Sasuke griped.

"I can fix it," Hermione said. "But…I don't want to get hit with a giant peanut."

"I'll stand in front of you," Neji offered. "Can you do it in five seconds? My rotation will protect us for about that long so you'll have to hurry."

"Alright." She hurried behind Neji and he immediately spun around super fast, the peanuts now bouncing off his chakra.

"_Immobilus degorgeo_!" The peanuts stopped moving and were now immobilized in mid air. They also had stopped growing as well. Some were even shrinking back to normal size.

"Thank you Neji," Hermione said with a smile.

"You're welcome. You didn't get hit did you? I'm always spinning so quickly that I never know what's in my path."

"No you were great!" she exclaimed. "I've never seen anything like that before." Ron looked a little sick to his stomach after watching Neji.

"Does that…make you dizzy?" he asked.

"Not anymore. I've had to use it so much now that it rarely phases me anymore."

"Uh…class…class dismissed," Flitwick managed. He had fallen back off of his podium at some point during the commotion and hadn't even bothered to try to get up because of the flying peanuts. Hermione and the others exited the room and stood outside in the hall.

"Well…we still have about an hour before our next class. What do you guys wanna do?" Harry asked.

"Well…I think…" Sakura started but she was immediately cut off by Malfoy. He and his friends had been waiting for Sakura to come so that they could chat with her.

"Sakura is it?"

"Yeah."

"I think you should let me show you around the school grounds."

"Well uh…I don't…" _This could be my chance to find out some things that may help us with our investigation about Orochimaru._ "Yeah, sure. Why not? I have nothing better to do." Naruto, Sasuke, Harry and Ron all dropped their jaws.

"Sakura, what are you…?" Naruto started but Sasuke nudged him in side. "Ow what was that for?"

"Dummy what is the whole purpose for our trip here in this other dimension?"

"Uh…to catch Orochimaru?"

"Exactly. She needs information on Voldemort in order to find Orochimaru. She's using that jelly head to get info."

"Oh…oh I get it now. So what are we going to do until then?"

"Well, I got hit in the head with a peanut which means you're pretty much dead meat Naruto."

"Yeah well you'll have to catch me first!" The others watched as Naruto and Sasuke took off down the hall turning towards the small staircase that led outside.

"Those two never cease to amaze me. It's only a matter of time before one or the other admits their true feelings," Neji said with a sigh.

"Wait a sec. You mean they're both gay?" Harry asked.

"Well, not necessarily. You see, in Japan everyone is pretty open-minded about their sexual preferences. In other words, it doesn't really matter who they fall in love with. If they're a guy and they fall in love with a guy then that's just how it is. I dated a guy once but it was completely one sided since I didn't really feel anything for him. I wouldn't say that I'm gay because I am crushing on a girl right now but I will admit that I am not completely against the idea of dating another guy. Personally, I think that if all people took that perspective then it wouldn't be such a big deal to them when they happen to come across 'gay' people," Neji answered with a shrug.

"Oh…wow. That really makes a lot of sense when you put it that way," Ron replied. "Well anyway, I uh…I have to go…be somewhere."

"Somewhere as in where?" Harry asked raising his eyebrow.

"Uh…I told Ino that I would show her around the castle," he shrugged. "I figure I could meet her now while I have time to kill."

"I see," Hermione said pursing her lips. "Well get a move on then!" she snapped. Ron winced before heading off. Harry just shook his head and turned his attention back to the window. Sasuke had finally caught up to Naruto and they were now rolling around on the ground trying to punch each other.

"Ha ha ha Tha's great. I think I'm gonna…go…and watch those two. Maybe I can get them a part long enough to chat with Naruto about his kyuubi." Harry ran off leaving Neji and Hermione behind.

"Damn those two. I should have known it would be this way. Oh well…guess I'll go to the library or something."

"I have a better idea. How about we take a walk around the lake? There's an interesting creature out there and I think I want a closer look."

"There are a ton of interesting creatures in that lake. Some have never been seen before. What did you see?"

"Well, I used my Byakugan to scope the area and I could have sworn I saw a giant squid."

"Oh neat! Let's go!" She grabbed his hand and they took off as well."

**--CHARMING--**

"You wished to see me headmaster?" Snape sat in one of the big chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk with a bored expression on his face.

"Yes. There's been a change of plans. I need you to leave tomorrow morning for Konoha."

"What? Why?"

"Because you don't have any classes tomorrow and I think you should go get aquainted with the Lady Tsunade."

"I'd rather vomit."

"Oh come Severus. How could you say something like that and you've never even met the woman?"

"Because if she's anything like the infidels that were in my potion's class today then I'd really rather vomit."

"You know Severus, you may have brought that on yourself."

"THAT GIRL ATTACKED ME!"

"Yeah but I thought you were proficient in Occlumency?" Albus asked raising his eyebrows. There was an awkward silence before Severus spoke up again.

"You forget what day it is Albus," he said quietly. There was a long pause before Albus spoke up again.

"I'm sorry Severus. I didn't…"

"I'm sure you knew and to answer your question, I get like this every year on the anniversary of her death. But now that you know, I must admit that I did bring it upon myself today. Had my mind been focused on the task at hand then nothing like that would have happened. Unless there's anything else, I must get going. It seems I have a fleeting need to get packed. How long am I staying?"

"Well just for a night. Afterwards you'll be staying there every weekend unless you two work something else out. In the meantime, I have to go as well. The tournament is fast approaching and I need to make sure everything's ready."

"Very well."

**--XX--**

"Sasuke get off of me! I hate you!"

"And I hate you but I got hit in the head with a giant peanut so I could care less. Now hold still while I punch you in the face!"

"As if I'd let a stupid pretty boy like you hit me in the face. Get real!" Naruto grabbed both of Sasuke's arms and flipped him over. Then he straddled him grabbing hold of his shirt with one hand, pulling him forward. Then he drew back to hit him.

"Say your prayers loser. I win this time." Sasuke closed his eyes and waited for impact but nothing happened. When he opened his eyes Naruto had transformed into a pretty blonde girl with pigtails. She was staring back at him playfully.

"Na…Naruto?" he stammered.

"Oh Sasuke! I think you're so hot. Kiss me Sasuke!" Naruto pulled Sasuke closer and planted a big one on his lips. Sasuke's eyes went wide with surprise before he shoved the teen off of him.

"Dammit Naruto!" He grabbed him by his legs and swung him hard into the tree behind him. The jutsu wore off and Naruto body started sliding down the trunk of the tree. Sasuke made a mad dash and grabbed the front of his shirt, jacking him up against the tree.

"Sasuke, that was mean. That really hurt you know, especially in girl form," he whined.

"Yeah well I don't care. What the hell was that all about…transforming using your harem jutsu?"

"I was trying to ruin your reputation. I was hoping some of the ladies would see me and think you're taken so you'd lose all your cool points with the ladies, especially Sakura." Sasuke just laughed at this.

"Nice try loser only one problem, THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND!"

"Oh…yeah."

"God you're such an IDIOT!"

"AND YOU'RE A LOSER!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!" Then Naruto let a small smirk escape his lips.

"What's so fucking funny?"

"Nothing. I just think that you're already losing your cool points with the ladies. That Malfoy idiot has your woman. Though to her it may be an undercover mission, he might be thinking otherwise. I personally think he's a lot prettier than you. I bet he kisses better than you too. I need to ask Sakura this later. Maybe I'll get Ino to…"

He was silenced by a pair of lips nibbling at his lower one. Then he felt a tongue trace the outside of his lips before he felt it slide gracefully inside his mouth. The kiss was pure bliss making Naruto's head spin. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke, who complied deepening the kiss. Sasuke was pretty sure that he felt Naruto's arousal pressing up against his leg and it was turning him on. He pulled away to catch his breath before attacking his lips again. Naruto responded with just as much hunger, his hands now sliding gracefully down his back. Sasuke's lips left Naruto's and started towards his ear.

"Who kisses better now Naruto?" he whispered.

"Uh…"

"I can tell you now that his kisses are nothing like that!" They both jumped and Sasuke turned to see Harry standing a few feet away grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

**AN:** _Alright. There you have it. The latest update and it was longer than I expected which is good for you considering the fact that I haven't updated in a long time. Um sometimes the characters will seem a little OOC but I think I did well for the most part, keeping them in canon. _

Ron: "I think we should give them spoilers for the next chapter."

Me: "No. I am NOT giving out spoilers. And you better not either or I'll kill you off!"

Naruto: "Oh man. Come on Nefatiri! I wanna know what happens next!"

Me: "Well you're just going to have to wait."

Sasuke: "I bet you do Naruto."

Harry: "Te he I remember what happens next…"

Sasuke: "Wipe that fucking grin off your face. You're smiling as if…tell me you and Naruto didn't…"

Harry: "I dunno. You'll just have to wait and see."

Neji: "You guys are really something else. You really don't remember do you? Well I do. In the next chapter Master Jiraiya gets caught…"

Jiraiya: "Shut it Neji! Otherwise I'll spill the beans to your beloved about you and…"

Me: "All of you, SHUT UP!"

Kakashi: "Geez, you're meaner than Tsunade sometimes."

Severus: "I agree."

Tsunade: "I heard that!"

Me: "Really, until next time folks…Ta Ta. Oh and please review!"


	9. Blond Kisses and a Disaterous Divination

Sasuke let go of Naruto and the two rivals just stared at Harry, mouths wide with shock. Naruto was turning a light shade of red at having been caught kissing Sasuke while Sasuke proceeded to glare angrily at Harry for having interrupted them.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke snapped.

"Whoa. Sorry but I followed you two because I wanted to talk with Naruto about his kyuubi. I wasn't trying to…I'm sorry if I interrupted your special time together."

"_Special time_? What the hell does that mean?"

"Well you two look like lovers so…"

"We are NOT lovers!" Sasuke snapped and at that he stormed off leaving Naruto with Harry.

"Gee, I didn't mean anything by it," Harry said with a sigh.

"Oh…well…it's just Sasuke. He's always been this moody," Naruto grinned. He slid down the trunk of the tree resting his head against it. "So what did you wanna know?"

"Oh right." Harry took a seat next to the blonde and sighed. "I just…people keep telling me that you and I are alike in so many ways but no one will explain to me how. It's not that I'm trying to be nosy and learn everything about you, but my whole life's an open book. People in this world know more about my past than I do."

"Yeah tell me about it," Naruto grumbled. "That's one thing I can relate to. People in my village know things about my past that even I don't know." He let out a sigh as he stared down in his lap. His facial expression had changed dramatically. His eyes no longer had that cheerful sparkle about them. The look in his eyes now was one of pure anguish which made Harry frown.

"I mean, I know bits and pieces but not enough to actually know what happened to me when I was little. All I know was that my parents died during an attack on our village. This was during the Great War between the five great ninja nations. A giant monster called Kyuubi attacked my village killing hundreds of villagers but the brave fourth hokage gave his life to save everyone by sealing the beast inside of me."

"I'm…I'm sorry to hear that," Harry replied softly.

"Naa, it's cool," the blonde replied, forcing a smile. "It doesn't really bother me as much anymore now that I have such good friends but before that…before that I felt so alone. People in the village knew that I was Naruto, but they looked at me as a monster. They…they never paid me any attention and I was always alone. If it wasn't for Iruka, Sasuke, Kakashi sensei, and Sakura, I probably would have turned out to be like Orochimaru."

"Wow. I'm…you may have had it worse than me."

"Whatdaya mean?" the blonde asked softly.

"Like you, I too felt all alone. For the first eleven years of my life, I was forced to stay with my aunt and uncle in the Muggle world."

"What's a Muggle?"

"Non-magic people."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I never knew anything about my past. All they told me was that my parents died tragically in a car crash and I was left at their doorsteps." Harry's bright grin now turned grim. "It was a lie. I found out on my eleventh birthday that I was a wizard and that my parents were killed by the most powerful evil wizard of all time, Lord Voldemort. I was brought to Hogwarts by a half giant named Hagrid and found out that I'm actually pretty famous. People know everything about me; more than I could have possibly imagined. I lived my whole life as a lie for a while thanks to my aunt and uncle."

"Wow."

"Yeah. You would think that after being here for some time I'd feel better but truthfully I feel just as alone as I did back at Privet Drive. Sure I have tons of friends and admirer's now, but none of them truly understand what I feel. I have people constantly watching over me as if they expect me to drop dead at any moment. Plus, there's been an incident every year that has involved Lord Voldemort trying to return that I now find myself dreaming about him from time to time. I'm supposedly the boy who killed Lord Voldemort but if he returns someday, will I be able to stop him again? This is the pressure that eats at me from day to day that I can't possibly get people to understand no matter how hard I try."

"Wow. So the old man was right."

"Huh?"

"Dumbledore told me that we were a lot a like. After hearing your story, I think we are alike in many ways. While you are constantly worrying about that Voldemort guy, I have a whole bunch of people in black trying to kill me. I try not to think about it but there are days when I'm alone I think about the 'what ifs'." They both remained silent, neither one quite knowing what to say next. Naruto leaned back against the tree trunk and so did Harry. They were still very much alone, possibly because it looked as though it were about to rain. A minute or two later Harry and Naruto spotted Sakura and Malfoy walking hand in hand around the school grounds. Harry scowled when he saw Malfoy causing Naruto to grin.

"What's that all about?" the blonde asked.

"Nothing. I just hate Malfoy."

"You guys rivals or something?"

"It's a little more complicated than that."

"Hey wait a sec!" Naruto's face lit up and sat up, turning to face his dark haired friend. "You two…you guys were a couple once weren't you?" he smirked.

"No," Harry said quickly. "We just…"

"You said he was a lousy kisser," Naruto said raising an eyebrow. "That means you two were a couple…or maybe you guys just kissed on a regular basis because you were lovers," he teased.

"No…it really wasn't…"

"Oh come on! You can tell me!" Naruto said eagerly.

"Yeah right. And what of you and Sasuke? Why don't you explain that one? If you explain you and Sasuke's kiss then I may be willing to explain about Malfoy." Naruto chuckled nervously and reached up to scratch his head.

"Well…I…guess you could say I provoked him, but I never thought he'd kiss me. Sasuke's such a pridewhore. His pride comes before anything else except when we're on a mission or something. That kiss…it was just because he wanted to prove that he was a good kisser."

"Well is he?" Harry inquired.

"I…yeah…I guess so. I haven't had very many kisses. In fact, now that I think about it, that was my first real kiss," he replied wondrously.

"Really?"

"Yeah but enough about that. What about you and Malfoy?"

"Uh…yeah about that. I don't think I want to tell you."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, I…I don't want to tell you," he smirked. He stood to his feet grinning down at Naruto. "See you later."

"Oh no you don't! Come here!" Naruto grabbed the hem of Harry's shirt but Harry quickly turned on him with his wand at the ready.

_**wingardium leviosa!**_

Naruto could feel his body lifting slowly off the ground.

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!" Harry raised his wand higher and with it, Naruto floated higher into the air. Harry swung Naruto around for several seconds laughing hysterically as the blonde kicked wildly in the air. "Harry please…I'm starting to get airsick," he moaned. Harry began to lower his wand slowly, bringing Naruto back to the earth. Naruto landed gracefully on his feet breathing a sigh of relief as he leaned back against the tree. Harry stood just inches in front of him looking into the piercing blue eyes of the handsome blonde.

"Are you…still feeling sick?"

"Yeah and why'd you do that?" he snapped.

"I dunno. I guess it was just on impulse. I tend to do that a lot these days."

"Impulse huh?"

"Yeah." He stepped closer to the blonde, a wry smirk forming across his face. The blonde just stared back at him quizzically as if trying to figure Harry out.

"Is 'impulse' trying to tell you something else?" Naruto snapped.

"Yeah, actually it is."

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the blonde's. Naruto of course, was too shocked to do anything. Harry smirked before taking Naruto's lower lip, suckling at it gently forcing a small whimper from the blonde. He used the opportunity to slip his tongue in his mouth and began kissing him gently, letting his hands slide gracefully down his sides. The blonde's lips finally started to respond kissing him back slowly. Another soft whimper, which sounded very much like a purr this time, escaped the blonde when Harry pressed his body closer to his.

"Ha…Harry?"

"Naruto." Both boys jumped at the sound of the two voices. Harry turned around slowly to face a smirking Neji and a very shocked Hermione. "I told you I saw something more interesting than a giant squid," Neji said with a grin his Byakugan eyes ablaze. Hermione blinked a couple of times as if trying to be sure of what she saw.

"Uh…I can explain?" Harry said wincing at his shocked friend. The bell sounded and Naruto let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Guess it'll have to wait. I do believe we have Divination in the tower next," Neji informed.

"Oh damn. I forgot we had that class today. I should skip it. I hate that fu…"

"Harry," Hermione warned.

"I don't care!" he snapped. "You know how that lunatic treats me. I get sick of her staring at me as if I'm about to drop dead at any moment. Then to make matters worse, the entire Trelawney Fan Service will stare at me tragically the entire class period and you know I personally get sick of turning in parchment predicting my own death week after week. It's fucking annoying!"

"Well we can't help it if she adores you Harry. Besides, if it wasn't for you then she'd probably be out of a job," Hermione giggled.

"Yeah whatever," he grumbled. "I have to run back to the dorm to get some things. Do I need to grab anything for anybody?"

"Uh…no I'm all set," Hermione answered.

"Same with us," Neji replied.

"Alright. See you guys in a few." Harry ran off leaving them behind.

"Well I don't want to sound pushy but there's a whole lot of stairs to climb," Hermione noted.

"Well I could cheat and just use my chakra," Naruto grinned. "But I don't think Bushy Brow would appreciate me cheating like that. I promised I'd keep up the heavy training regime I got from him and Guy sensei. So lead the way you two."

"Uh…Neji will have to show you because I'm not in that class."

"Why not?"

"I uh…dropped it but Neji you know the way right?"

"Of course," he smirked. "See you later Ms. Granger," he said with a bow. She flashed him a warm smile before heading off.

**--DIVINATION--**

"Damn. I…never…wanna…climb…those…stairs…again," Naruto huffed. They had just reached the top of the tower and started inside the dimly lit room. "Wow. This place looks kind of cool."

"Yeah it looks cool but wait til you see the lunatic that teaches this class." Neji and Naruto watched as Ron stalked by them and headed towards an empty table. Each round table could seat two people and had a crystal ball atop it.

"Naruto, are you planning on sitting with Sasuke?" Neji asked.

"Huh? What makes you think that I want to sit with that loser?" Naruto huffed.

"I just thought I'd ask. After all, you two are in love…"

"WE ARE NOT!" he shouted. A few of the Hogwarts students turned to stare at the two of them.

"My God Naruto, why must you insist on being so loud all the time? Fine. I'll sit in the empty chair next to Sasuke. Why don't you sit with someone else…that is, if they'll let you," Neji smirked. He headed off and sat down next to Sasuke.

Naruto looked around the room and noticed that almost all the seats were taken. There were only two seats left, one next to Ron and the other next to that Malfoy guy. Since he and Ron were not the best of friends, he decided to go with what he thought was the lesser of two evils and headed straight for the empty seat next to Malfoy. Draco looked up and scowled at the blonde.

"Just what the hell are you doing over here?"

"There was no where else. Would you rather I move so that Harry can sit here?" he inquired.

"No," he grumbled, shifting nervously in his seat. A second later Harry come running inside the room but stopped short when he saw where Naruto was sitting. Malfoy looked up meeting Harry's intense gaze and flicked him off. Harry withdrew his wand but before he could do anything Professor Trelawney appeared out of nowhere.

"Good evening class and welcome all newcomers." Harry sulked to his chair next to Ron and they quickly bent their heads to converse with one another. "I am Professor Trelawney and this is Divination. Some of you possess all the qualities necessary to see the future, the all powerful third eye…"

"Is that like the eye that Gaara has? If that's the case then I fail because I ain't got a third eye!" he fussed.

"What is your name young man?" Trelawney asked.

"Uh…Uzumaki Naruto."

"From Konoha right?"

"Yeah that's right but…" She walked over to him, peering closely at him through those big bird glasses that seemed to magnify her eyes times a thousand. She glanced at her hand but then immediately drew back.

"AHHHH! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! No…no wait. You're…_you're_ going to die Naruto," she replied sadly.

"Huh?"

"Oh don't mind her Naruto. She's at it again," Harry grumbled. "If I had a dime for every time she told me I was going to die, I'd be filthy rich by now."

"Oh Naruto…so tragic. I'll…you don't have to do your homework tonight. It's only a matter of time before death cometh. I'm so sorry," she choked. She ran off across the room and headed inside her office locking the door behind her. "Sometimes I hate this job," she sobbed. "I couldn't bear to see any of my students die but it's inevitable." There was a loud poof causing her to jump.

"Hi! I couldn't help but overhear your dilemma."

"Who…who are you?" she asked nervously.

"Who me?" he chuckled. "Well, I'm the greatest ninja in all the land, one of the three Legendary Sanin, the famous Toad Sage Master Jiraiya," he said with a bow. He took her hand and kissed the back of it.

"I…I don't think I…I know you," she stuttered. He took her other hand and kissed the back of it as well.

"Ahh well that's no matter. I'm not important but you…" He stepped closer to her cupping one side of her face. "You're the one _I'd_ like to get to know." He dipped his head low and planted a small kiss at the nape of her neck causing her to shudder.

"I…uh…wait a second," she stammered. "I…I have a class and…" He used his body and pushed her back against the door. He trailed kisses from her neck to her earlobe, teasing it with his tongue.

"How about you and me after class? I can tell you need some attention and I'd love to be the one to give it to you…in more ways that one," he whispered.

"I…well…I don't…know. I mean, I uh…I just met you…and…well…"

"I work for the old man. He trusts me to act on my best behavior but…that was a mistake on his part." He let his hands slide down her waist where he began inching her skirt up. He slipped a hand under her skirt and in between her legs causing her to gasp. "I hate it when women aren't happy and or satisfied. You are neither but after tonight, you will be…that is, if you'll have me."

"I…well I…" He found a sensitive spot and began teasing it, making her jump. "I…my room…this tower, third door on the right. Come late." Jiraiya backed away slowly, a wicked grin crossing his lips.

"Very well. I'll see you later…Sybill." Then he disappeared.

**--P--E--R--V--Y--S--A--G--E--**

"Oh dammit. What's taking that old fraud so long?" Ron whined.

"I dunno. Maybe she's getting some," Harry joked.

"Yeah right. Who'd want that old fraud?"

"You don't know Jiraiya," Naruto mumbled. "He'll take anybody." A second later, Trelawney emerged from her office looking more distraught than usual.

"Uh…well um…where was I?"

"You were telling the blonde here that he's going to die," Malfoy replied.

"Oh..oh yeah. Um...well take out your books and read the first chapter. Then start predicting things about your partners. Begin."

Everyone reluctantly opened their books and some began reading silently while others just immediately started predicting their futures.

"Alright Naruto. Let's just get the work done. Let me fill you in on a few things. For starters, no one gets any of this shit in this class so we might as well make stuff up. Secondly, always predict more bad than good about me and we'll get good grades. She loves predicting people's death's especially Harry's," he smirked.

"Yeah ok. Well let's see…I predict…"

"No no, allow me to go first. You know, just to give you an idea of how it goes."

"Oh…alright."

"Hmm…it says chapter one is on palm reading. So give me your hand." He stared down at Naruto's hand quizzically for several seconds before a wide grin formed across his lips.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"Well…it says here that you're going to die in the distant future but not today. Uh…you're going to get hexed within the next few hours and possibly get rejected for a kiss by Sakura."

"Oh really?" Naruto snatched Malfoy's hand and grinned. "According to this long line here, you're going to live a long, sad life alone. Your boyfriend's going to cheat on you with someone else and…"

"Wait a second you idgit, I don't have a boyfriend!" he replied, feeling slightly indignant.

"Sure you don't, not now anyway. But what about kissing Harry? How do you explain that?" Naruto challenged. Most of the people in class were oblivious to what was going on. Most of the girls were giggling hysterically because they were high. Professor Trelawney's incense always made people feel high.

"H…How did you find out about that?"

"That's not important," the blonde teased. "Now what of it? Is Harry a good kisser? Are YOU a good kisser? I'd really like to know because Sasuke…"

"Sasuke huh? Your lover?"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE THAT SASUKE AND I ARE NOT LOVERS?!" he yelled.

"Uh…that's good to know," Ron snickered. Sasuke could feel his face burning with fury and it was taking all he had to remain calm.

"Yeah well, the way he gets all touchy when someone mentions your name you'd swear you two were love…" Before he could finish his sentence, Sasuke was standing on top of the table between him and Naruto.

"You were saying…Malfoy?"

"Oh you come to protect your man?" he teased. "Well, I'd probably do the same if I were you. He is quite handsome you know and I'd love to uh…" He dropped his voice to barely a whisper. "I'd love to show you how well I kiss. I bet you I kiss better than your love…" Sasuke drew back to punch Draco but a pair of hands stopped him.

"You mustn't fight him Sasuke," Neji warned. "That's not what we're here for."

"Yeah well he was fucking asking for it! Keep my name out of your mouth and leave Naruto alone."

"Or what?" Draco stood to his feet, toe to toe with the raven haired shinobi. "You two aren't lovers so why does it matter?" he said in a low tone. "I'm not afraid of you Sasuke. You'll do well to remember that."

"ALRIGHT CLASS! YOU'RE DISMISSED! HOMEWORK IS TO GET WITH YOUR PARTNERS AND FINISH UP THOSE PREDICTIONS!" she yelled. Draco smirked before heading out of class.

"I'll see you later…Naruto." When Malfoy was well out of the tower, Sasuke jerked away from Neji and stormed out of the room. Neji just sighed, shaking his head. He and Naruto were joined seconds later by Sakura, Ginny, Harry and Ron.

"What the heck was that all about?" Ginny asked.

"Uh…well…I'm pretty sure Draco may have been teasing Naruto…" Neji started but was immediately cut off by Harry.

"What did he say to you Naruto?"

"Uh…well he just kept saying things about Sasuke and me and I kind of lost it and…"

"It's probably all Naruto's fault," Sakura frowned. "You're always staring something."

"But Sakura…"

"We haven't the time for this. We have another class to get to shortly. In the meantime, we need to focus on the task at hand. We are supposed to be gathering information about Orochimaru or Vol…He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Stop getting in petty fights so we can complete this mission and get home." They all nodded before following Neji out the room. Naruto was starting to feel tense and agitated. The day started off on a high note but it seemed to be getting worse as it prolonged. He was fairly certain that he wouldn't be able to handle anymore comments about him and Sasuke so it was only a matter of time before he snapped. He felt a hand clasp his own and he looked over to see Harry smiling at him.

"Don't let that bleach blonde prick ruin your day."

"Hai, I'll try," he said softly. Harry tickled his fingers before hurrying to catch up with Ron and the others. The day was far from over and it was only about to get more interesting…

* * *

**AN:** _Like I said before, no pairing is off limits in this story. Slightly longer chapter than I had planned but think of it as two chapters in one which means no update for a while. I need to work on other stories._

Naruto: "Oh come on! My favorite class is coming up!"

Sasuke: "Mine too." -caresses the back of Naruto's hand-

Harry: "I saw that!"

Sasuke: "And I care because..."

Neji: "You guys need to chill out!"

Me: "Thank you Neji."

Draco: "He's one to talk. In a few chapters, he gets caught..."

Neji: "BYAKUGAN!"

Me: "NO! STOP! SHUT IT! ALL OF YOU SHUT IT!"

Jiraiyah: "Finally."

Me: "Oh you too you big perve. Anyway, you all are just going to have to wait. Defense Against the Dark Arts will drain my brain and besides, I haven't written that chapter yet."

Sasuke: "Oh damn. And I thought I'd get to beat the hell out of Malfoy soon."

Me: "Maybe. We'll see."

Ron: "Spoiler? Teaser? Something! ANYTHING!"

Me: "Well...I can tell you this, there may be a lemon or two in the next chapter which reminds me, rating is officially changing now! Until next time people, we're out. R and R people! Ta Ta"


	10. DADA and Showering for Detention

After the crew ate a quick dinner, they soon headed for their final class of the day, Defense Against the Dark Arts. However, instead of having class in the classroom, they were all asked to meet outside in the courtyard.

"Damn Pervy Sage. He just wants to show off," Naruto mumbled.

"Well I for one am extremely excited about seeing you ninjas at work," Hermione exclaimed.

"Work huh? Please. None of them come close to being on my level." Sasuke had caught up with the rest of the Gryffindor House students and he was receiving dirty looks from Naruto.

"Oh shut it Sasuke," Neji mumbled. "You've yet to face me in combat so I suggest you not put the cart before the horse so to speak."

"Aw don't even bother arguing with him," Naruto groaned. "Sasuke's all talk. He can't back up anything he says anyway." Sasuke pulled Naruto to the side and whispered in his ear.

"Didn't I back it up earlier? If I was just 'all talk' why'd you get hard after just one kiss?" Naruto could feel his face flushing with embarrassment.

"I…I didn't…" he stammered.

"I felt it against my leg you idiot but that's ok. I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't like it," he grinned.

"What are you two up there whispering about? Are you making plans for your next date?" Sasuke balled up his fist and turned around glaring angrily at his adversary.

"Has anyone ever told you that you've got a big mouth Draco? You might wanna get it in check. You're in the wrong class to be making such threats to me. I'll make you eat those words if I don't kill you first."

"Come on Sasuke. It's not worth it," Hermione replied pulling him to the side. "Malfoy's a jerk. He'll always be a jerk."

"Maybe," Sasuke smirked. After a while Hermione realized that they weren't moving and that there were more students out in the courtyard than there should have been.

"Um…why are there so many people out here?" Hermione wondered.

"Well, I vaguely remember Master Jiraiya telling us after the sorting that people could drop by to see our class in action," Sakura noted.

"Oh yeah. I remember."

"ALRIGHT! ATTENTION EVERYONE! IF YOU ARE NOT IN GRYFFINDOR OR SLYTHERIN, I NEED YOU TO STAND BACK AND LET THEM COME UP FRONT!" Jiraiya yelled. Slowly people parted ways to let the selected houses come up front. "Alright good. Now then. Welcome to your first ever Dark Arts class shinobi style. Of course, you will probably learn some very important defensive spells from none other than Professor Snape who has happily agreed to be my assistant."

"You know, doesn't this sound familiar in a freaky, Lockhart sort of way?" Ron asked.

"Yeah…it does actually," Harry answered. "Lockhart was an idiot though." Naruto smirked at this.

"Don't let that perve fool you. He's one of the biggest idiots I know."

"NARUTO!" Naruto jumped at the sound of Jiraiya's voice.

"What?"

"Get up here. We're about to fight."

"Say what?! But I don't wanna fight you!"

"Yeah well, I figure you're the best example of how dangerous someone like Orochimaru can be."

"I don't want to fight you. I'm too tired to fight an old coot like you."

"NARUTO! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW OR I REFUSE TO TRAIN YOU ANYMORE!" he screamed.

"Yeah. Fine. Whatever. I'm coming," he grumbled.

"Good luck loser," Sasuke smirked. Naruto gave Sasuke the finger as he slowly headed to the front.

"Alright Naruto. I want you to come at me with everything you got."

"Everything?" he asked reluctantly.

"Uh…except _that_. You know that might not be such a good idea to let people see…well you know what I mean."

"Yeah well sometimes I can't help it and right now I'm not in the best of moods. If that happens then it's on you."

"You know you're supposed to be learning how to control it."

"Yeah whatever." Naruto got in a fighting stance readying for battle.

"Oh please. What's that blonde freak going to do against an old white haired freak?" someone muttered. Naruto looked over to see Malfoy grinning with two of his buddies. Naruto took out a shurigen tossing it at him but Neji stopped it before it could graze him. "DAMMIT NEJI!"

"Well I'm sorry Naruto but you know you not supposed to fight amateurs," Neji huffed.

"AMATEUR! I'LL SHOW YOU AMETURE…_STUPEFY!_" Neji was instantly knocked backwards and right into Sasuke who caught him with ease. Sasuke leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"Either you get him for that or I'll hurt him myself."

"Don't worry. That prick's mine." Neji got up and glared at the blonde who was now staring at him as if daring him to make a move. "BYAKUGAN!" he shouted. Malfoy dropped his wand when he saw Neji's eyes.

"No. NO NO NEJI DON'T…!" Jiraiya shouted. Neji ignored him, spreading his arms and legs and getting into a stance his fellow shinobi knew all too well. The ground lit up with strange symbols causing some of the Hogwarts students to gasp.

"Hey…uh…what's he about to do?" Hermione asked Sakura.

"It's about to be bad. NEJI! NEJI DON'T! YOU KNOW LADY HOKAGE WOULDN'T LIKE THIS…never mind. I take that back," Sakura mumbled. _My master's insane and hates for people to upstage her. She'd probably be proud of Neji._ Sakura didn't have to worry for long. Kakashi appeared out of nowhere right between Malfoy, who was looking sick, and Neji, who looked pissed off at the world.

"Now, now boys. No fighting. Leave the fighting to Naruto and Master Jiraiya. Besides, comrades are not to fight each other."

"Hmph. You expect me to call a coward such as Draco a comrade? Please. I'd more likely call a member of the Akatsuki a comrade than that pale faced freak. At least THEY don't attack people when their backs are turned. Dishonorable."

"Alight. Alright. Settle down," Kakashi said with a sigh. He pushed Neji away and then walked over to make sure Malfoy was alright but he was too embarrassed. He shrugged Kakashi off and headed to the back of the crowd with his buddies.

"Ero senin, I'm bored. Can we get this demonstration out the way before I die of boredom?" Naruto groaned. He was laying on the ground staring up at the sky.

"Alright then. Think fast." Jiraiya did a bunch of hands signs before screaming 'SUMMONING JUTSU'! Naruto quickly sat up and screamed.

"WHAT?! THAT'S NOT FAIR! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT YOU AND YOU'RE CHEATING?"

"Call out your toad," he shrugged.

"But…you know how Gamabunta is. He…he doesn't like to be bothered. Besides, you said we were going to fight one on one not two on two."

"Clearly you can come up with a better excuse than that. Are you afraid Naruto?" he teased.

"Screw you. Fine. I'll do it." Naruto quickly did his hands signs before screaming 'summoning jutsu'. A big thick cloud of smoke appeared and everyone eagerly waited to see the giant toad.

"Hi Naruto. What's shakin?"

"YOU! WHERE'S…WHERE'S GAMABUNTA?!" he screamed.

"Man, he's busy and says he hasn't the time to play with you. Besides, he hates Jiraiya and says that he'll kill him the next time he sees him."

"Gamatatsu…of all the…you tell boss toad that he'll have to catch me first to kill me. Now then class. That was your first demonstration as to how chakra works. You see, I am sitting on top of a much lager toad than Naruto. As you've probably guessed, summoning a giant toad like this requires much more chakra than summoning the likes of Gamatatsu."

"What is chakra?" Ginny asked.

"Well Ginny…ha ha. I see Ms. Granger knows the answer. Why don't we let her explain it? I bet she could explain it better than me or Jiraiya here." Kakashi nodded towards her and she immediately turned red in the face.

"Uh…well…according to wikipedia, it's basically life force energy," she answered.

"Very good." Kakashi smiled at her before turning to address the rest of the students. "Chakra is very VERY important to a ninja. Without it, our chances of winning an actual battle are slim to none. The chakra is what keeps us going. It's also necessary to perform ninjutsu and genjutsu type moves. Most battles can't be won unless we have at least enough chakra to perform a finishing type move which in most cases needs chakra to perform. Our only exception would probably be Might Guy or Rock Lee. Both aren't here today but their taijutsu is so powerful that rarely do they need to use any chakra based moves."

"So…this chakra? Do we have any of that stuff?" Ron asked.

"Of course," Jiraiya replied. "Everyone has chakra but not everyone has the ability to control and use it properly. Take Naruto for example. He has more chakra than anyone in Konoha but has no idea how to use it properly."

"WHAT?! WHADAYA MEAN I CAN'T USE IT PROPERLY?!" he screamed. The rest of the students were laughing at him except for Sakura who looked plum embarrassed.

"Let's do a quick demonstration," Jiraiya said with a smile. He jumped down off of his toad and held out his hand for everyone to see. In a matter of seconds a big swirling ball of chakra could be seen in his hand.

"Wow. That's so cool! What is that?" Harry asked.

"It's my chakra," he replied. He walked around the courtyard with his hand stuck out so that everyone could see. "You see, chakra isn't the easiest thing to control like this. It takes a lot of concentration to do what I'm doing but once you get the hang of it, like your wands, it becomes second nature. Alright. Naruto. Show us your rasengan."

"Huh? Yeah. Ok." Naruto put his hands together producing two clones. A few of the students gasped at the sudden appearance of two other Narutos.

"Wait a second Naruto."

"What?! WHY?!"

"I'm teaching here so be quiet! Anyway, you see the two other idiots that just appeared are called 'Shadow Clones'. Not everyone can do that as it's a jonin level technique. Alright then. Continue Naruto." Naruto's clones hovered over his hand until the blue ball of chakra appeared. They disappeared once Naruto had it in his hand.

"Now what? Do I hit the tree or something? I can't hold it forever you know."

"Right. Well you see how he used the clones to produce the same thing? His chakra control is very weak and therefore he can't produce the rasengan chakra like me. Also, the clones help him control the chakra but if you pay close attention, you can see how his hand is starting to shake."

"Aye…pervy sage…I can't hold it much longer…" he whined.

"Oh right then. Hit the tree Naruto." Naruto ran straight for the tree that was way behind the class.

"WAIT! NA…NARUTO! NOT THAT TREE!" Harry shouted but it was too late. When Naruto got close enough, a tree branch hit him square in the face, knocking him into the air. He ended up landing just a few feet in front of Jiraiya's favorite toad friend who licked him in the face. The students all burst out laughing, except for Harry and his friends who ran over to make sure Naruto was alright.

"You alright?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah. You just got knocked out by the Whomping Willow so…"

"The…the what?" Naruto asked. He tried to sit up but his head was killing him.

"The Whomping Willow. It's a living tree that's always in a bad mood," Ginny answered.

"Yeah and you aren't really supposed to go near it," Hermione finished. "It could kill you."

"What kind of school has a killer plant in the court yard?" he snapped.

"Uh…Hogwarts," Harry grinned. "Say, can you…" But his voice was drowned out by all of the shouting.

"HOW DARE YOU! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS! YOU KEEP MY FATHER'S NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!"

"MY FATHER'S DEAD WHICH GIVES ME MORE THAN ENOUGH REASON TO RIP YOU APART!" Harry recognized Draco's voice and ran over to see what all the fuss was about. He pushed his way through the crowd and saw Kakashi holding Sasuke while Professor Snape held Draco.

"I'LL HURT YOU THE NEXT TIME YOU TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY LIFE! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT!"

"AND I'LL HURT YOU THE NEXT TIME YOU DOWN MY FAMILY OR SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT MY FRIENDS. YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THE SHIT NARUTO HAS BEEN THROUGH! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM OR I SWEAR I'LL…"

"Alright guys. That's enough," Jiraiya said with a sigh. "You know, I wanted to be the cool sensei at Hogwarts but all of this commotion…I have no choice but to give you guys detention. You too Neji for earlier. So…wherever Professor Snape deems detention then that's where you'll have it."

"The dungeons tonight," he replied dryly.

"Alright then. Now Snape is there anything you wish to show the class today? I think I've done enough. Next time, Slytherins and Gryffindors only."

"No. I'd rather vomit. Besides, they can't possibly start Dark Arts training without first properly studying some spells. I'll post their homework assignment on my door later. Unless there's anything else, you're free to go." All of the students started back towards the castle chatting excitedly about the events from the class. Professor Snape left hurriedly towads the castle as well. Kakashi and Jiraiya shook their heads and started back towards the castle.

"Wait. Kakashi…sensei." He and Jiraiya turned to see Hermione coming towards them.

"What can I do for you?" Kakashi asked. Her face turned red but she managed to speak anyway.

"Well sir…Naruto…he's still hurt. I think he needs to be taken to the hospital wing."

"I appreciate your concern for my star pupil," Jiraiya chuckled, "but I can assure you that he'll be alright. The kyuubi inside him heals him pretty quickly and most times medical attention isn't needed. Just rest. But if it makes you feel any better, Sakura is an elite medical ninja and I'll have her check him out before he goes to detention."

"Alright. But…he can't walk."

"HEY 'MIONE! I'LL CARRY HIM BACK TO THE CASTLE!" Harry shouted.

"Uh…ok…but…"

"I think Sasuke should do it," Kakashi stated. "He's a lot stronger so it will take less time."

"Alright then. Um…see you…tomorrow."

"I look forward to it," he grinned before poofing. Hermione ran back to the group and relayed the message. Harry however, looked a little sour.

"Alright then. Well…guess I'll see you guys in detention. Come on Ron. Let's go."

"I uh…I can't," he replied. He gave his friend a pleading look making him frown.

"And why not?"

"I uh…have to meet someone," he mumbled.

"Oh gee. I wonder who?" Hermione snapped. "You know Ron, I don't know why I even bother. Come on Ginny. Let's go."

"Uh…ok. Bie…you guys," she yelped as Hermione seemed to be dragging her back towards the castle. Harry sighed as he watched the girls storm off towards the castle. _Figures. I suppose I should go shower and head straight for the dungeons. Then again, there's really no telling what that prick will have us doing tonight. _He chanced a glance over at Naruto who was being held by Sasuke. With a sigh he started for the castle.

"Hey. Wait Harry. I'm coming with," Neji muttered.

"Aye. Me too," Sakura noted. Ron started for the castle with them but then detoured towards the lake where he was set to meet Ino. Sasuke soon started towards the castle as well holding the kit in his arms. He didn't start speaking until he was sure Harry and the others were way out of hearing range.

"You know, you sure do get into a lot of trouble."

"Yeah well I never knew trees could pack a punch," he groaned.

"Are you still hurt?"

"Yeah. My head's killing me."

"I'm gonna get a shower before detention. I think you should do the same. Maybe you'll feel a little better."

"Why does it matter to you? You've never cared about my well being before," he grumbled. They were now just entering the castle doors and Sasuke started up the stairs.

"I don't know. I suppose I just hate seeing others hurt you. That's _my_ job," he smirked.

"Yeah and you tend to do that often," he muttered.

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" he frowned.

"Never mind. Not that you care and if you don't know then I'm not going to bother explaining. Put me down. I can walk now." Sasuke did as he was told letting his friend down. "I'll see you in detention," he grumbled before heading towards Gryffindor Tower. Sasuke let out a sigh and started for the Slytherin common room. _Damn Naruto. What did you mean? I…I have always cared about you…Why wouldn't I care? Maybe it's because we're always fighting. But…why do we fight all of the time? _All of these things ran through his head as he headed inside the common room. It was empty when he entered the room but he was sure everyone was either studying or out doing something fun. In the meantime, he had no time to dwell on it. He needed to shower and get ready for the most interesting detention he'd ever have. No lie.

--DADA--

When Ginny and Hermione got back to the common room they were both feeling pretty anxious. Hermione was pissed off at Ron for ditching her to meet Ino while Ginny was just ready to go meet Dean, but her loyalty to Hermione wouldn't let her leave her friend all alone. After a while of listening to Hermione fuss about Ronald, she finally decided that she'd go to the library.

"You sure you're ok?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah. I'm good. Now go meet Dean," she grinned. Ginny waved goodbye and dashed out the common room. Hermione followed suit, exiting the portrait hole and starting down the corridor. She was vaguely aware of where she was going. She was so lost in thought that she ran right into someone. "Oh goodness me. I'm so…"

"It's ok."

_That voice…_She looked up to see Kakashi standing before her. He had an open book but he quickly shut it smiling down at her.

"Uh…Kakashi sensei!" she yelped.

"Are you alright? You uh…I saw you coming down the corridor but you seemed lost. I could have moved out of the way but I was scared you'd run into the wall or something."

"Yeah…I'm…fine. I guess," she mumbled.

"Where are all your friends?" he inquired.

"Detention. But that's nothing new. Oh…and Ronald's somewhere being Ron. Oooo he just makes me so mad I could just…" She stomped her foot and pouted.

"Wow. I'm sorry that you're alone."

"It's alright. I was just about to head to the library anyway. I usually read on nights like this. Actually, I read all the time."

"Oh well what do you like to read?"

"Anything. Romance, hentai…"

"He…hentai?" he asked. _I know she can't be serious? _He tried to hide the shocked expression but it was no use. Hermione looked at him and giggled.

"Well…boy on boy hentai. Everything else is a little…not my style. I will read a good romance novel though."

"Oh well," he chuckled. "I have quite a few of those in my room. Would you like to sample one of Master Jiraiya's books? He's an excellent writer and takes his writing very seriously. You don't have to but…"

"Oh I'd love to!" she exclaimed.

"Alright. Well…I don't know all the rules of this place but…I'm not sure if I can have you in my room so I could just…"

"Oh screw the rules. I'm a genius and an all around good girl. No one's going to say anything. Besides, I don't want to be alone tonight," she added softly. Kakashi was going to say no but since he knew Hermione was an outstanding student, he agreed to let her come pick one out. Plus, she looked really hurt by Ron's actions and he hated seeing her hurt. Any woman for that matter.

"Alright. Let's get going then."

--ICHAICHA--

Naruto wrapped a towel around his waist and headed inside the shower room. He looked around and saw that there was one other shower running which relieved him. _Maybe I'll be left alone. I don't think I can handle any teasing about my head injury. _Naruto chose to shower at the very last area. The other person that was showering was no where to be seen and he didn't particularly want to shower next to him but it the best place to shower. It was far from the door which meant no one could walk in on him and see much of anything.

Naruto flung his towel over the banister and just stood under the steaming water, letting it wash every care away from him. _Sasuke…Why? Why am I…thinking about Sasuke?_ Naruto groaned. That bastard._ I hate him. _He grabbed some shampoo and started washing his hair. It was strawberry shampoo but he didn't care. He'd forgotten his shampoo back in Konoha and had to use Sakura's. He washed his hair good and before long he was back in a fairly pleasant mood. _Wow. Showering __**does**__ put me in a better mood._ He played around in the water shaking his blonde hair like a model.

"You know, if it wasn't a shame I'd eat you myself." Naruto turned around, his face red with embarrassment.

"Ha…Harry! How…long have you been there?" he asked nervously.

"Long enough to know that you smell like strawberries and should be Hogwart's main course for dinner everyday. You look and smell absolutely delicious."

"I…well…I don't know about that," he stammered. Harry shrugged before licking his lips approaching the young blonde. _I want to taste him._

"Oh I know. Believe me I know. What guy or girl wouldn't want to taste something as delicious looking as you?" he said softly. Naruto took a few steps back but was stopped by the shower divider.

"Ha…Harry?" Harry smiled before pressing his wet, naked body next to the blonde. He dipped his head low licking the side of Naruto's neck.

"Just…delicious," he murmured.

"Ha…Harry. What are you…doing? I…" Harry slid his hands down the blonde's sides and behind his back, cupping his rear. His lips found the blonde's lips kissing him slowly. Naruto's lips reluctantly responded at first but soon Harry deepened the kiss, making Naruto's head spin. Harry moved his body up and down Naruto's body, letting his arousal brush up against the blonde's. Soft purrs escaped Naruto making the dark haired wizard want him even more.

"Oh God…purr for me again," Harry groaned. He ran a hand in between Naruto's legs clasping his erection. The blonde gasped at the sudden action but when Harry started stroking him, his gasps turned to purrs and moans.

"Mmm…Ha…Harry," he moaned. He was so turned on that he didn't know what to do with himself. Harry's stroking felt so good and he could feel himself wanting to cum.

"Touch me," Harry whispered. "Touch me like I'm touching you." Naruto quickly reached down and clasped Harry's erection. The instant he touched him, Harry bit his lip to keep from moaning out loud. Naruto stroked him slowly and before long, they both were purring and moaning from each other's touch. Harry picked up the pace and so did Naruto, stroking each other faster and faster.

"I…I can't…Harry I'm going to…" Harry covered Naruto's lips muffling his moan as he cried out from his release. Harry released at the same time as well, spilling himself all over the blonde. He wrapped his arms around Naruto burying his face in his neck.

"You smell so good and you feel so good," he whispered. "I…this might sound a bit cliché but I wish I could hold you like this forever."

"But…Harry…you don't…I mean…"

"I don't know Naruto. The first day I met you, I felt something that I've never felt with anyone else." He kissed his neck before grabbing a sponge. "Let's get cleaned up. We don't want to be late for detention with Snape. I'd really rather not hear his mouth more than I have to tonight."

"Hai."

* * *

**AN:** _I know it's been a while but I think I told you before that updates would be slow on this one as it takes a great deal of time to write each chapter. No matter how long or short it is, I have to think several chapters ahead as I write so I don't get stuck. I know a lot didn't happen this chapter but hey, I suppose it'll get better...or worse._

**Sasuke:** "Can't get much worse than this. I can't believe you let...let Harry touch my beloved!"

**Me:** "Well...you aren't very nice to him sometimes."

**Harry:** "Yeah which is why I hope he stays with me. I'd treat him really good." -licks Naruto's neck-

**Sasuke:** "GET AWAY FROM HIM!" -punches Harry and both start rolling aoround on the floor-

**Me:** -sigh- "I haven't the time to deal with that. It's 2am and I'm sleepy. Anyway, I..."

**Draco:** "A dream come true for me. Sasuke and Harry rolling around on the ground...If only they were naked..."

**Me:** o.O

**Neji:** "As if either one of them would be interested in you."

**Draco:** "Oh shut it. You're just mad because you can't be with your beloved either. But I doubt you want her now. I had her screaming with..."

**Me:** "NEJI NO! HE'S JUST..." -sighs and watches as Neji knocks Draco to the floor-

**Snape:** "You need to learn to control your actors."

**Me:** "And YOU might wanna watch your attitude. Yo have no idea the things I could make happen between you and Tsunade."

**Tsunade:** "AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU DO!"

**Me:** "Um excuse me but you're just an animated character. And besides, you'll like it. Trust me. Anyway people, I have no idea when the next update will be but it probably wont be anytime soon as I need to update some other thing. Plus I have school in 6 weeks. But...I did hide a spoiler or two somewhere in this dialog sooo...have fun patiently awaiting the next chapter. The next chapter will be titled 'Detention on Lustful Nights'. Yeah. Something like that but it will be chocked full of silliness among other things. Oh and if you haven't already, add me to your myspace...or youtube...or imvu...or LJ. Ta ta."


	11. Bonding Part I

**AN: Alright. I have decided that I need to warn everyone that this story will have an obsessive amount of YAOI. I like yaoi and the girls I am writing this fic for like yaoi. Therefore expect lots of it in future chapters. Also, in case you haven't noticed, some of my chapters are serious while others make no sense whatsoever. So I have classified this story as 'SERIOUSLY CRACKED'. Like it? I LMAOed when it hit me at 1:35am. Let's see…as I stated chapters ago, no pairing is safe in this story as they will change from time to time. The major pairings that have been hinted at may very well end up together at the very END of the story but for right now, these characters got a little bit of running around to do. Oh and there's one pairing that I know for sure won't last because Jessica says so. Now then. You may continue if you wish.**

* * *

Both Harry and Naruto quickly dressed and headed down to the dungeons. When the arrived, they were surprised to see that Sasuke, Neji and Malfoy were already there sitting quietly. Neji and Sasuke were sitting next to each other while Malfoy was on the opposite side of the room. He was playing with his wand, spinning it around on the desk as if he hadn't a care in the world. Neji and Sasuke however couldn't have looked more sour. Harry and Naruto took seats behind Sasuke and Neji leaving Malfoy all alone on the other side of the room. All was quiet was the next five minutes as they patiently awaited Professor Snape. Snape entered the room his usual loud and obnoxious way, the dungeon door slamming wide open.

"He always has to make an entrance," Harry muttered. Snape turned to face the guys his expression more bored than usual.

"Alright you delinquents. I haven't the time to deal with hormonal teenagers. As a result I have decided to give you all a fairly easy punishment. I want you all to list two good things about each person in here. Then when you're done, I want you to write me a paper telling me why you think Potions is the greatest subject in the world. If you don't want to do that, you can dust all the trophies in the trophy room. Now get started. I'll be back when I feel like it." He quickly left the room slamming the door behind him. The room was silent for several seconds, the tension in the room steady building. Finally Naruto broke the silence.

"Oh gee. I can't sit here and not talk. We're all being stupid. Let's just write some BS so we can get up out of here."

"Well said Naruto," Neji replied. He whipped out a quill and began listing the names. Harry, Sasuke, and Draco just sat their thinking. Neither one really had anything good to say about one another. Sasuke didn't really know Harry but he knew he hated Malfoy. Same could be said for Harry. As for Draco, he really didn't care much for either of them though…he had to admit that he kind of…sort of…admired Neji. Maybe it was because he seemed different or maybe it was because the fire in his eyes earlier struck a fear he'd never felt before. Either way, he at least had something nice to say about one of them.

"What are you staring at?" Neji asked. The question took Malfoy by surprise because he didn't realize that he'd been staring at the brown haired shinobi. And he was surprised to see that his hair was no longer tied back. It was hanging freely highlighting his face beautifully.

"Uh…certainly not you," he managed before averting his eyes to his own piece of parchment.

"Whatever."

"Say Neji? I think Malfoy's been fantasizing about you," Harry teased. The guys all burst out laughing gaining an evil glare from the Byakugan user.

"Yeah right."

"Yeah well better you than me," Sasuke muttered.

"I HEARD THAT!" Malfoy yelled. "And Sasuke, you're hardly worth fantasizing about. Dark hair is so last season."

"Why you…"

"Calm down Sasuke. Like you said earlier, he isn't worth the bother," Neji stated calmly. They all settled down and got back to making their lists. All of them were able to come up with good things about each other except Draco, Harry, and Sasuke.

"Dammit this is hard," Sasuke muttered.

"What are you having trouble with?" Harry asked.

"Well…I don't know you all that well so I was thinking maybe you can tell me something good about you and vice versa."

"Uh…alright. I'm pretty good at the Dark Arts."

"Alright. Cool. I'm a great leader of a clan in my village." Both Naruto and Neji snickered at this making the raven haired shinobi frown.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Oh nothing," Naruto grinned.

"Besides the fact that you're the last surviving member of that clan," Malfoy said dryly. That did it. Sasuke was halfway across the room before any of the others could react. He grabbed Malfoy's shirt pulling him to a standing position.

"For your information blondie, I am not the last surviving member of my clan. I have a brother who can kill anybody just by looking at them and you know what, I'm the same way." He flashed his Sharingan eyes and then he flashed his second pair.

"Sa…Sasuke let him go will ya? You know Lady Tsunade will freak if you kill him," Naruto pleaded. Sasuke glanced over at Naruto and sighed.

"Fine. This prick's not worth my time. I guess it's true what they say about gay guys in this dimension." He started back across the room and noticed that Harry was frowning.

"What did you mean by that?" he asked.

"That all of them act like little girls."

"Normally I'd side with you since I don't care for Malfoy too much but you couldn't be more wrong. I'm gay but I'm no girl."

"Yeah well, like I said earlier, I don't know you and I can only base my opinion on what I've seen so far. So far I've seen nothing but little blonde bitches," he shrugged.

"Hey I'm no bitch!" Malfoy growled, his voice dangerously low.

"Yeah. Whatever blondie." Sasuke took his seat next to Neji and began listing things about Naruto and Neji. He was unaware of the angry glare he was getting from both Malfoy and Harry. Harry being the hot head that he was hated it when people said things that were untrue about him. _I'll fix him…_

"Say Naruto, would you agree with Sasuke that I'm a little bitch?" Malfoy snickered at this and turned his attention to the other side of the room. _This ought to be good._

"Uh…I…why are you asking me?" he stammered. "I really don't want to get in the middle of this." Naruto was done making his list and had already begun writing his paper. Sasuke chose to stay silent because he really wasn't in the mood to argue with Harry.

"I'm asking you because you're one of the few who would know." Sasuke's hand began to shake as he gripped his quill. _What the hell does he mean by that?_

"Well…I…don't know about that," Naruto stammered.

"Oh come on Naruto. Don't be bashful. We had fun didn't we? In the shower?"

"I…well…"

"Harry, where exactly are you going with this?" Neji asked. "Not that really care but I'd like to be out of the line of fire if you're trying to start a fight."

"I'm not trying to start a fight. I just thought that Naruto here could help clear a few things up for the Uchiha here. Not all of us gay guys are little girls. I'm practically more man than any of you could possibly handle." Neji made a sound that came out partly as a laugh while Sasuke just continued to shake furiously.

"Um…Harry that's enough. I think we should get back on task so we can get out of here," Naruto said nervously. The tension in the room was so thick that Naruto hardly dared to breath.

"Fine. I'll let it go. I don't need to prove myself to anyone else, right Naruto?" He leaned over and licked the blonde's cheek making him blush.

"Ha…Harry don't…" But he didn't let up. He pulled the blonde closer nipping at his neck while he slowly slid his arms up Naruto's white tee.

"Mmm…I don't think I'll ever get enough of you," he whispered. Draco's eyes went wide with surprise as he watched the scene before him. _Is Harry…is he serious?_ Neji turned around and when he saw what was going down his draw dropped as well. He cut a sidelong glance at Sasuke who was still just holding onto that quill.

"Sa…Sasuke, you might wanna…" But Sasuke ignored him. He slowly stood to his feet and smiled.

"I'll be back." He slowly marched across the room towards Malfoy who was practically drooling at the sight before him. Sasuke slapped him in the face angering the blonde. He stood to his feet, now toe to toe with the Uchiha.

"What the hell was that for?" Sasuke just smirked before wrapping his arms around Malfoy capturing his lips in a kiss. Neji's jaw just dropped and he almost fell backwards from the shock.

"Oh…oh my…" he stammered.

Harry had already practically rid Naruto of his shirt as it had been pulled all the way up to his chest. He stopped the assault on the blonde to see what the fuss was all about. When he saw Sasuke and Draco, he could feel his face starting to flush. Sasuke had Malfoy against the wall, kissing his neck and sliding his hands over his chest. His robe had been tossed aside and Malfoy was gripping the back of Sasuke's shirt, needful moans escaping his throat. Neji looked over at Naruto and he seemed just as confused as Harry. But the main thing he noticed about Naruto was that there was also a slight hint of hurt in his expression. Neji cursed under his breath before storming across the room towards them. He pulled Sasuke away from Malfoy and pushed him against a nearby table.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Neji hissed.

"I was just showing Harry that I'm a much better lover than he could ever hope to be."

"Oh my god. You guys are so childish! Let it go. Now come back over here and finish your work so we can get the hell up out of here."

"You know what? All of a sudden I'm kind of liking detention."

"Yeah well I'm not so can you please…"

"I accept," he grinned. He gripped Neji's arms tossing him on the table. He quickly covered Neji's body and began planting slow, lingering kisses on his neck.

"Sasuke! Get…off…of…me! I'm not even gay!" he hissed.

"Who cares?" Sasuke grinned. "Besides, if you play along then I believe some things will come to light," he whispered. Neji frowned at this but then let out a sigh. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke and let him have at it.

Meanwhile Draco just stood there shaking nervously. He watched Neji respond to all of Sasuke's touches and half wished it was him on top…or bottom for that matter. He looked across the room and saw that Harry was staring at him but he couldn't quite read the expression on his face. A part of him wished he could run over to him and apologize for how things had ended between them but he also knew that they could never be together. _It won't change anything…even if I did apologize. Plus, he's with the blonde now so he could care less about me._ Draco's thoughts were interrupted when Neji suddenly flipped Sasuke over on the desk. He grinned playfully as he slid his tongue all around Sasuke's neck. Draco got hard just watching the two of them.

"Alright. I've had about enough of this," Harry grumbled. He stormed across the room with every intention of going off on Sasuke but a pair of hands stopped him. He turned around to see Draco staring back at him.

"You…don't…just let them alone."

"And why should I? He's trying to make me look like a fool and I won't let him!"

"Harry, can you for once put your ego aside?" Draco yelled.

"Ego? My ego? What the hell…?"

"I think what's really bothering you is that he made out with me."

"What?! Get real Malfoy. I couldn't care…"

"Yes you do. You care and you know it. You and I just broke it off not too long ago so you mean to tell me that it didn't bother you in the slightest to see another man touch me like that?" Neji stopped his assault on Sasuke and both boys turned their attention to the scene before them.

"I knew something was up," Sasuke gloated. "You two…I've seen the way you cut your eyes at one another and although Malfoy's been eyeing Neji like candy lately, it still doesn't compare to the looks you two give each other."

"This is none of your business Sasuke," Harry snapped.

"Yeah well its my business when my best friend becomes the middle man." Sasuke climbed off the desk and walked up to Harry. He lowered his voice to barely a whisper so that only Harry could hear him. "It's _always_ my business when it concerns Naruto. I trust you'll do well to remember that."

The doors of the dungeon suddenly flew open and in walked Professor Snape. He stopped short when he suddenly sensed the weird tension in the room.

"Well…it seems that you all are finally getting along." As he studied the boys more closely he couldn't help but turn up his nose in disgust. "Maybe…a little too much," he added. "Anyway, you're all dismissed. I expect better behavior out of you all in the future. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm running behind as is." Snape quickly hurried out of the room leaving the boys behind. Neji was in no mood for anymore weirdness so he was the first to take his leave.

"Wait Neji. I'm…coming with you," Naruto said softly. He grabbed his quills and started out the door.

"Wait! Naruto wait!" Sasuke ran after him only to be stopped by Neji.

"Are you really going to go there with him tonight Sasuke? He's hurting you know."

"Neji…please. I have to…"

"Fine but don't yell at him." Neji moved away and let Sasuke run after Naruto. Meanwhile, he decided to stick around to see what would become of Malfoy and Harry. He used his Byakugan to watch from behind as statue so he wouldn't be seen.

"What did you with Naruto?" Draco asked.

"Nothing."

"Yeah right. You wouldn't have brought it up if you did nothing."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was just trying to get a rise out of the Uchiha?"

"Maybe but I can always tell when you're lying and you are lying now."

"Well so what if I am? What's it to you what I do with the blonde? You dumped me remember?"

"Yeah well its not like I wanted to. You know my father would freak if he knew. Plus, I know you hated hiding our relationship from your friends and I hated hiding it as well. My father…I suppose he suspected that you and I were involved. He practically threatened to disown me if I ever got caught. I…As much as I care about you Harry, you haven't the slightest idea how it feels to be me. Being a Malfoy…my father cares more about our reputation than my feelings. I'm sorry I…I'm sorry for the way things ended but I had no choice."

"You had no choice?" he scoffed. "I'm out of here."

"No, Harry please!"

"NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME! I…I gave you my heart Draco. I let you get inside my head and then one day you took control of me. You threw me on your bed and made love to me. Like a fool, I let you have me knowing full well of the risk I was taking. Sometime after I could remember thinking to myself that maybe someday we could tell everyone about us and reunite two sides in the wizarding world. The Malfoy name would surely have lots of influence and me being me…a lot of things could have changed if we could have just taken a stand. But you…when I look at you, all I see…is a coward."

"But Harry….it's…IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE! YOU ACT LIKE VOLDEMORT'S BACK!"

"Maybe he's not, but even if he was, where would your loyalties lie? Would they lie with me? The boy you claim to love? Or would they lie with your father?"

"You're not being fair Harry."

"I think I am."

"What now Harry? We both know we still care for each other. Are we just going to keep ignoring these feelings, going about our everyday lives pretending that we don't exist?"

"I could care less what you do. I've found me someone else and the funny thing is, I think I could really grow to love him. I already care about him more than I should and I can't believe I grew to care so much in so little time."

"Naruto."

"That's right."

"Didn't you catch the hint? Naruto belongs to Sasuke. They're in love with one another just like you and…"

"NO! Just…stop it." Harry grabbed his things and stormed out of the dungeon. An equally pissed Malfoy followed shortly after muttering curse after curse under his breath. Neji just leaned back against the wall to take in what he'd just witnessed. _So that's the deal with those two. I never would have guessed. Sasuke was right. I wonder how this will all play out in the future. I don't think Harry's realized it yet but if he wants Naruto he's going to have to fight for him… _Neji waited until both boys had entered their perspective dorms before heading up the stairs.

**Meanwhile…**

"Naruto wait. Please…please talk to me."

"Why don't you go and talk to Malfoy or Neji? I'm sure they'd be thrilled," he mumbled.

"Naruto, come on now. We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. You and I aren't really friends. We're comrades and rivals. Nothing more nothing less." The words from Naruto hit him like a knife and he felt kind of sad all of a sudden.

"Na…Naruto. Do you really feel that way?"

"Go away Sasuke. Your constant questions about my feelings are starting to annoy me."

"But I do care! I want to know how you feel!" Naruto stopped at the staircases that led to each wing. He started up his side but Sasuke grabbed his wrist. "Naruto!"

"You really want to know how I feel?"

"Yeah. I…I really wanna know?"

"Humiliated." That was all he said before slowly climbing the stairs to Gryffindor tower. Sasuke's heart got a little heavier as he watched his friend. When Naruto was finally inside, he began the long truck up the opposite side. _Humiliated._ Naruto felt humiliated and it was all his fault. He never should have kissed those other guys but it was for his own good. He'd overheard Malfoy talking about Harry and he saw the way they looked at each other in class. Even though he did it mostly for himself, he needed Naruto to see that he was not the only guy Harry had eyes for. _Dammit!_ Sasuke sat down on the floor in hall to think. Things would be a whole lot simpler if he could just bring himself to tell Naruto his true feelings but…he just wasn't sure how to do it and he was afraid.

"You look like you could use a drink." He looked up to see two red heads staring down at him. They had broad grins across their faces and both had a handful of goodies.

"Uh…you have no idea. Who are…?"

"I'm Fred."

"I'm George."

"And we're probably going to get into trouble in the morning but have a drink…"

"Or two or three…"

"And all your problems will soon go free," they ended in unison. Sasuke took the drink but before he could drink it someone slapped it away from him.

"Do NOT drink that. In fact, I highly recommend you exercise caution when taking anything from these two."

"Oh come on Ginny. It was only a sleeping drought," Fred…or maybe George groaned.

"Yeah. Right. Off to bed you two." She grabbed the two of them and practically dragged them away, scolding them with each step. Sasuke just shook his head before starting inside the common room. _Never a dull moment around here…_

* * *

**AN:**_ I split this chapter into two parts because quite frankly 14 pages is long enough. The chapter after Part II will spotlight our favorite hokage. Why? Because I like her. Oh and expect the twins to do something stupid in the next chapter. As such the search Orochimaru and a cure for the kit will begin. Also, I'll bring the Bulgarian students in at some point. I might kill off the veela girls. I never really cared for them all that much. On and another thing, don't let the yaoi throw you off because there's some funny stuff coming up dealing with straight pairings in the next chapter. It's a bunch of them which means there may be a part three. But anyway...  
_

**Neji:** "But I like girls. Just because everyone else don't doesn't mean I have to suffer."

**Me:** "Um…didn't you kiss Sasuke?"

**Neji:** "He kissed me."

**Me:** "I didn't see you complaining too much."

**Neji:** "Like I had much of a choice in the matter. He jumped me!"

**Sasuke:** "Don't put all the blame on me. You flipped me over on the table and…"

**Naruto:** -sigh-

**Harry:** -scoots next to Naruto- "Don't mind them. I'll pay you some attention."

**Sasuke:** "LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"

**Ino:** "Good grief. If they are fighting like that now then it's going to be really bad later when a certain Bulgarian takes an interest in someone."

**Neji:** "Huh? What do you mean?"

**Ino:** "Oh nothing. And man, I can't wait to see someone's face when someone beats someone else to the punch. I should get a cam corder for this!" runs off to get cam

**Sasuke:** "What the hell is she talking about Nefatiri?"

**Me:** "Um…" -ignores Sasuke- "That's all for now folks! R & R and the next chapter should be up before the month is out. LOL"


	12. Unconditional Friends and Love

When Hermione entered Kakashi's room she was a little bit nervous. It wasn't that she was afraid of being around Kakashi. It was just that she felt so…odd being around a man that she kissed in class, especially since he was a lot older than her and a teacher. She crossed the room and sat on the edge of his bed while he rummaged through one of his bags looking for some books.

"Ahh, found it. I think you'll enjoy this one." He pulled out a red book that had a couple lying in the grass on it. He crossed the room and sat on the bed next to Hermione before handing her the book.

"Thank you. I'm sure I'll enjoy it."

"Oh no problem. I normally don't lend out my books but I can tell you're a trustworthy person. Naruto or someone wouldn't appreciate such good reading," he joked.

"Yeah. I kind of figured. Um…I know I should probably leave now but…I don't really want to go back to the room. I'm sure I'll be all alone and well…for some reason I just can't handle being alone tonight. I…I think I might cry if…" Her voice trailed off and she stared at the floor sadly. Kakashi watched her for a moment trying to decide whether or not it was a good idea to let her stay. After all, things were kind of weird between them now that they have shared a moment. Not that Kakashi was feeling anything from that moment. Ok. Maybe he couldn't help but to admit that the kid WAS a good kisser and it had been kind of fun seducing her but…_I suppose it will be alright. Unlike Jiraiya, I know how to behave myself when necessary._

"Hermione? You can stay." She looked over at him and smiled. It was the prettiest smile he'd seen in ages.

"Oh thank you! Thank you! I promise not to disturb you." Kakashi threw up his hands and laughed.

"Hey hey. It's alright. You lie here on the bed and read. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be across the room if you need anything." She nodded before kicking back on the bed to read. Kakashi headed to the restroom to change into some comfortable clothing. He emerged from the restroom a few minutes later wearing some black trousers and nothing else. He even had the mask off. Hermione tried to focus her attention on the contents of the book but she couldn't stop herself from staring at the most beautiful face she'd ever seen. He was really, REALLY handsome. There was a small scar on the side of his face that looked like it was from an old cut by a kunai knife, but that made him look even hotter. One couldn't really expect an expert shinobi such as Kakashi to not have at least a few battle scars. And then there was his chest that led to his well sculpted abs. _Oh man…I know I'm drooling but… _His lean torso was enough to make any girl curious. _Oh gosh. I need to get a grip. I am not like the rest of these hormonal teenagers. He's just a guy. _

Kakashi grabbed a pillow and book out of his bag before heading to the huge rug that was in front of the fireplace. He propped his elbow on the pillow and began reading as if Hermione wasn't even in the room. Hermione continued to the read her book though she couldn't help but look over it every now and then to admire the backside of the man lying in front of the fire. She managed to read for another thirty minutes or so until her curiosity got the best of her. She closed the book quietly then eased off the bed where she quietly approached him. She stepped over him situating herself in front of his legs staring into the fire. Kakashi kneed her in the back playfully earning a slight giggle from the teenager.

"What's up? Is everything alright?" he asked. She turned to him and smiled before stretching out next to him on her stomach.

"Yeah I just…watching you lie by the fire made me want to lie by the fire as well. I dunno…there was something calming about watching you read."

"So you quit reading that book to watch me?" he teased.

"No, it's not that. I was actually enjoying the book very much until you came out of the bathroom." She could feel her face flushing with embarrassment but it was her fault. She never really meant to say that outloud but whenever she was nervous, she had the serious case of what Harry called the 'word vomit'. Things would just come out before she could really think about them which usually resulted in highly embarrassing results. She managed to meet Kakashi's eyes afterwards thinking that he'd be freaked out but he only smiled like normal showcasing his pearly white teeth.

"I see," he chuckled. "I suppose I should go put some clothes on. I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable."

"No, I didn't mean…I just…it's not everyday that I get to…what I mean to say is…that…well, I don't know what I mean and so…" Kakashi leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. The shock of it all stopped her from babbling but then she did the unthinkable by moving her lips, responding eagerly to his kiss. Kakashi tried to pull away at first but she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him down on top of her. She didn't realize what she had done until she felt the weight of his body on top of her. She opened her eyes and gasped.

"Oh…oh my god! Pro…professor I…I'm sorry I didn't…" Kakashi silenced her again by pressing his lips to hers. She responded nervously and he could tell she was half a second from freaking out again. So…he did the only thing he knew how to do to calm a young woman down. He slowly slid his hand up her waist and to the side of her face where he slowly began to caress it. She stopped shaking and that's when his lips left hers and found her neck. He planted a soft kiss on her neck before playfully nibbling at her ear.

"Ms. Granger, have you calmed yourself just yet?" he asked softly. The sound of his voice in her ear was making her woozy so all she could do was nod. He nipped at her neck again before rolling off of her. He stood to his feet then extended his hand, pulling her up off the floor as well.

"I…" She started to speak again but he shushed her.

"You worry too much," he grinned. "You should ask Sakura about me. I'm sure she'd agree that I'm the one person you never have to be nervous around. I'm a pretty laid back kind of guy. I…I'm sorry I assaulted you just now but I've never really had to calm a nervous female like that. Back at home, we usually just punch them to calm them down but you aren't a ninja. So…I did the next best thing which was probably against the rules. However, I won't tell if you won't," he grinned.

"Not at all," she managed. How could she tell anyone? For starters, he was a teacher and secondly, he hadn't really done anything wrong. It was mainly her own fault for drooling. "Well uh…I think I should leave now. I…I need to get some rest before I get into any more trouble. I'm sorry for disturbing you." She grabbed the book off the bed and started for the door.

"Say Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"You're welcome to come back and get books anytime."

"Thank you professor. Well uh…sleep tight." She quickly waved and exited the room letting out a huge breath in the process. The tension had been so thick you could almost definitely cut it with a knife. That didn't matter though. She touched her neck and almost felt a tingle run through her entire body. _So that's what it feels like to be controlled by a man…I want more… _With a heartfelt sigh she headed back to her room thinking only of Kakashi and how much she wished she was Sakura.

**K-O-N-O-H-A**

Snape's portkey (a dusty old sock) was set just outside the boundaries of the school. It was time to head to Konoha. 3-2-1…Snape quickly took hold of the sock and was soon spinning quickly into nothingness. Seconds later he was landing gracefully outside a huge village gate. Snape dropped his bags and scoffed. _So this is where he sends me…I think I'd have rather put up with those morons…_

"Hey! Who are you?" Startled, Snape looked up to see two young gentlemen standing before him. One was holding a huge ax of some sort and the other was holding a knife. Both looked like they were prepared to attack if need be and that was the last thing he needed. Snape rolled his eyes and bowed graciously.

"I'm here to see your Hokage. I'm the one that Dumbledore sent about your Uzumaki." The two shinobi cast each other wary looks before frowning.

"How do we know you're not lying?"

"HEY! THAT'S ENOUGH GEMNA! LET HIM PASS AND STOP BEING REDICULOUS!"

"Uh…Tsunade-sama…we were…well he looked suspicious so we…"

"Enough!" she yelled. Snape looked at the woman coming towards him and for half a second even he was frightened of her. Her voice was quite scary yet the closer she got, the more he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. She had long blonde hair that was tied in a pony tail. Her eyes were a striking caramel color that seemed to shine underneath the sunlight and her breasts… Normally Snape paid no heed to such womanly appearances. Ever since Lily, Snape hadn't really felt the need to even notice women but Tsunade…She had the biggest breasts he'd seen in years. He had to stop himself from staring when she approached him.

"You must be Severus."

"And you would be correct." Tsunade gave him a good once over and smirked.

"You don't look like much of a wizard." At this, Snape frowned. _Just who the hell does she think she is?!_

"And you look more like a hooker than a leader," he said dryly. He had no idea what happened or when it happened. All he knew was that a second later he was staring at her from the ground, his head pounding with pain. _What the…?_

"I don't reckon you even bothered to ask Jiraiya about me but that's **your** problem not mine. In case you didn't know, I don't take insults lightly. In fact, your last statement highly offended me. I didn't hit you hard enough because you're still breathing. The next time you insult me, you might better run. I'll see you in my lab in one hour. Shizune will show you to your quarters." And with that she was off leaving poor Severus on the ground with a major headache.

**N-I-N-J-A**

Naruto sat on his bed and just stared up at the ceiling. Today had been a very interesting day full of its ups and downs. On the upside, he'd managed to make new friends but on the downside, his new friendships were now conflicted with weird emotions. Harry and Ron were two new friends he'd made though he had to admit he liked Harry more. However, he wasn't sure how to classify his friendship with Harry. After talking and being around him, he'd learned that they were indeed a lot alike but…there was something. When he was with Harry he felt…weird. He wasn't sure how else to explain it. They'd made out in the shower and he'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't like it but a part of him felt kind of bad about it. _I like Harry a lot but maybe we're moving to fast. Plus there's Sasuke…_ Naruto rolled over on his side and frowned. _Why is it that Sasuke's always on my mind? I hate him. I hate him and yet…sometimes I still wish he'd at least pretend to care…even though we're not friends really… _Naruto closed his eyes and watched as Sasuke felt Draco up, the handsome blonde moaning and squirming under Sasuke's body. _Gahh damn show off. He's not even that good of a kisser_… He closed his eyes again and could clearly see himself being pinned against the tree, Sasuke's lips teasing his own. Just thinking about it was making him blush.

"Naruto?"

"Huh?" Naruto looked over the side of his bed at his friend Neji who looked somewhat disturbed. "What's up? You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just missing Hinata, but that's another story. Anyway, I think you should know that Draco and Harry used to be a couple."

"So what? I don't care," he grumbled. He rolled back over on his back frowning.

"Yeah well, you may not care but Sasuke does. If it's any consolation to what you went through tonight, I think he did it to expose Draco and Harry."

"Why on earth would he do that?"

"Because he loves you dummy."

"He…He doesn't…"

"Whatever Naruto. I'm just saying. All of us, including Sakura, knows that he likes you more than any of us but the two of you are two damn stubborn to admit your feelings."

"Yeah well…" The door suddenly opened and they could hear voices coming inside the room. It was Harry and Ron. Since Naruto wasn't in the mood to talk, he closed his eyes pretending to be asleep. Neji did the same. Harry tiptoed towards their bunk and looked up at the blonde.

"Ron they're both asleep. Let's get to bed to because I'm sure tomorrow will be full of surprises as well."

"Right."

**L-O-Y-A-L-T-I-E-S**

"Good evening Albus. You wished to see me?"

"Ahh yes. Master Jiraiya. Come with me." Jiraiya followed Albus up the stairs and past the Gargoyle. The door swung open (password was 'gum drop') and they entered Albus's interesting office. "Have a seat." Jiraiya took a seat in one of the huge chairs in front of Albus's desk and then the headmaster sat across from him.

"I called you up because I have some news."

"News? About Voldemort or Orochimaru?"

"Death eaters. They're on the move which can only mean trouble for us in the future."

"What happened?"

"Well, last night a couple of Death Eaters took it upon themselves to show up in a Muggle tavern in London to torture a few drunks with the cruciatus curse. Unfortunately, they managed to get away but there was no doubt that they were Death Eaters. Before we obliviated the witnesses, they were able to describe them so we know for a fact it was death eaters.

"Wow. So things are about to get interesting."

"Exactly. There's no proof that Voldemort's back but if his followers are on the move then that means they know something that we don't. Now then, the other reason I called you up is because Tsunade told me you'd risk life and death to save that boy Naruto."

"And she would be right. He's my God son and I love him like he was my own."

"Very good. Looks like you and Severus have something in common though Severus would rather die than admit he actually care for Harry."

"Is there something I must do that might…?"

"Well, I don't know just yet. You see, Severus used to be a Death Eater and was at one time, Voldemort's right hand man. Near the end of the war, he found out Lily Potter's family was in danger and came to me crying his heart out. He begged me to save her life and in exchange, he swore loyalty to me. He acted as a double agent and helped get us the information needed to take down Voldemort. However, before we could act, Voldemort found the Potter family wiping them out except for one."

"The baby. Harry right?"

"Yeah. When he tried to kill Harry, the curse backfired killing him instead. Well…I wouldn't say kill. No one really knows _exactly_ what happened but Harry's credited with his downfall. However, every year since his enrollment at Hogwarts, the Dark Lord, or rather, pieces of Voldemort, have tried to kill Harry. I'm sure this year will be no different and now that we have reason to believe that Orochimaru is looking for him, we must be prepared to do whatever it takes to win."

"I…I see," he said softly. "I understand."

"I figured you would. Now then, I trust I have your support and cooperation?"

"Just tell me what needs to be done and I will do it."

"Very well then. Listen up…"

**E-V-I-L**

Orochimaru and Kabuto stared up at the old Riddle house wondrously.

"Yep. This is definitely the place. Looks like no one has been here for years," Kabuto noted.

"Yes. I know, but this is where he's at. I can feel his presence…or at the presence of something like me. Come Kabuto. Let's see if we can get him to see things my way."

* * *

_**AN:** Long ass delay. LOL Oh well. I am working on way too many stories. But alas, I finally found time to update this one. Don't expect another one anytime soon though._

**Neji: **"When am I going to get to see my baby again?"

**Me:** "Well...I dunno."

**Sasuke:** "Am I going to get to see my baby again?"

**Harry:** "If by baby you mean Naruto, yes you will but you'll probably see him naked in my bed."

**Sasuke:** "Fat chance loser. He's mine."

**Me:** "Oh grow up you two. Why can't you settle for a nice female?" -dodges shurrigans- "Sheesh. Anyway people, the next chapter will..."

**Snape:** "I'm not happy with my role in this story. Just why the hell do I have to sit back and be abused by some old..."

**Me:** "You're asking for another black eye. Now shut it! Anyway people, you'll have some Orochimaru in the next chapter but in the meantime, go read some of my other stories."

**Sasuke:** "Nightwish. I think people should read Nightwish."

**Me:** "Why? You know I hate that damn story."

**Sasuke:** "Because me, Naruto, and Neji make a hot couple."

**Me:** "Oh gee. Well that's all folks. Until next time, my actors and I say Ta Ta!"


End file.
